Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 31 - catch the horror train

We've reached the end of 2008's Halloween Countdown, and all that remains to be done is to crown this year's groovy ghoulish track of honor. The past two winners have been sedate, atmospheric affairs -- "Unexpected Guest" by UK Decay and "A Forest" by The Cure -- but this time I've chosen something a little more uptempo...but no less befitting this day of fiendish delights...

The Damned - Nasty (from 1984's "Thanks for the Night" single)

This hard-to-find gem, recorded shortly before Captain Sensible's long departure from the band, was alone worth the price of The Light at the End of the Tunnel box set. It's a breathtaking roller coaster ride that captures the The Damned doing what they did best -- garage rock-inflected punk with overtones both humorous and horrific.

The track was originally recorded for use in the "Nasty" episode of The Young Ones (a.k.a. "the greatest television show ever"), as seen in this fantastic clip which opens with one of the most quotable lines ever uttered...


Now that, bats and ghouls, is how you end a Halloween Countdown with style.

(If you are looking for a final All Hallows' fix, however, feel free to check out today's special Pronounced WOO-BIN post.)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 25 - comfort and joy

Given the present state of the world, it's only natural to feel a little depressed. That's why I've decided to brighten your day with some uplifting content taken from "The Day Happy Died," a heartwarming tale from The Witching Hour #47 (October 1974).

Little Rusty Boland is in a bit of a funk. His house has burned down, his parents have abandoned him, and most devastatingly, his faithful dog Happy has trotted off to Doggie Heaven.

Rusty perks up a bit when he spots what appears to be Happy's ghost wandering around the neighborhood. The poor kid follows the pooch into the local cemetary, where a (not entirely) shocking revelation awaits...

Wow! Who didn't see that coming?

Well, at least Happy is safe, right?

"That's right, kids! Not only will you die horribly and your spirit will walk the earth for all eternity, but your beloved pets will waste away and die from broken hearts! Sweet dreams, little ones!"

I know I'm feeling much happier now. How about you?

Danse Society - We're So Happy (from Gothic Rock, 1994) - It's a repost, yes, but of a very fine piece of 80's gothica that fits today's theme so perfectly that I couldn't resist.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 24 - nightmare virtuoso

From his studio lair hidden in the catacombs beneath the streets of Stockholm, the Phantom of the Pop Charts plots his next sinister move...

"Now that I've gotten Britney back in the Top 40, I shall commence work on my latest piece for Katy Perry! Revenge, sweet revenge will be mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Furyo - Opera in the Air (from the Furyo EP, 1984) - I haven't been shy about expressing my fondness for UK Decay, the Luton-based punk/postpunk outfit that helped launch the whole gothic rock phemomenon. Their dub-and-cobwebs classic, "Unexpected Guest." took the top slot in 2006's Halloween Countdown, and the band's For Madmen Only LP and Rising from the Dread EP make for perfect seasonal listening, be it Halloween, Christmas, or a summer holiday.

After the band's 1982 breakup, vocalist Steve "Abbo" Abbot, guitarist Steve Spon, and drummer Eddie Branch reunited as Furyo and attempted to recapture some of the old grand theatrical magic. Their efforts were less than successful -- and more than a little self-indulgent and silly --but did manage to deliver the goods in a few rare moments.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 22 - the way of all cellulose

In 1954, horror comics offered the grisly promise of a plague zombie poked by bill hooks and bisected by a rail...

(From "Forever Ambergris," Tales from the Crypt #44; October-November 1954)

In 1973, horror -- sorry, "suspense" -- comics offered a terryifying promise of a one-page nailbiter narrated in the first person by an oak tree...

The story is titled "DEATHBOX" and comes from DC's The Witching Hour #30 (April 1973), apparently by way of some high schooler's creative writing project...

Click...if you DARE!

It's scary because there's a coffin and dead people are buried inside coffins! Somebody call Count Floyd!

I'm not one of those fans who loudly proclaim that Frederic Wertham and the Comics Code Authority ruined the comics industry (mostly because the industry has shown it is more than capable of destroying itself), but the institution of the CCA did deal a blow to the horror comics genre from which it still hasn't fully recovered. Many have tried to recapture that gleefully transgressive EC horror vibe of the early 1950's, but the results have, at best, mimicked the mechanics without capturing the underlying soul.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 19 - twelve more days 'til Halloween

The original Halloween film from 1978 is hailed as a horror classic, and rightly so. Along with Psycho, it is credited with providing the template for the slasher film genre, yet like Hitchcock's 1960 film, the horror is a matter of atmosphere, pacing, and soundtrack rather than the gory, high body count excess associated with substandard imitations.

The silliness and implausibility of Halloween's premise are masked by writer/director John Carpenter's skillful presentation, which manages to sustain a real sensation of dread throughout the proceedings -- hunter versus hunted, everyteen babysitter versus a monster, Jamie Lee Curtis versus a dude in coveralls and a Shatner mask -- made even more terrifying by the utter absence of scenery-chewing antics on the monster's part. It's no mean feat to pull off effectively, which is probably why the film continues to be held in high regard by folks (like Maura, for example) who consider slasher films to be low-grade exploitative garbage.

The problem with success, especially within the realm of genre material, is that there's an overwhelming temptation to return to the same well again and again until the box office revenue runs dry. "Sameness with a spin" is the operating principle, and Halloween's success meant that whatever charms the original possessed had to be recycled, laminated and built upon with copious amounts of ludicrous backstory over the course of a half-dozen slasher-by-numbers sequels, an unnecessary remake, and the head-scratcher that is 1982's Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

The third entry in the series is a sequel in name only, featuring none of the characters or plot points established in the original film. Instead it explores the timely issue of druidic fundamentalist terrorism, as it pertains to neolithic monuments, seasonal merchandise, and the use of advertising. Or, to put it simply, magical Halloween masks that make creepy crawlies burst out of people's heads when triggered by a subliminally-loaded TV commercial. There are killer robots involved in the mess somewhere, too.

The idea, according to the producers, was to expand the franchise into a anthology format, which translates into non-bullshit language as "a shameless bait-and-switch ploy that banks on name recognition." (Carpenter and co-writer Debra Hill wanted to move past the franchise, but the moneymen had other ideas. From such behind-the-scenes wrangling such cinematic atrocities are born.)

Despite the film's messy genesis and numerous other warning signs, Fangoria was still willing to beat the drum of unwarranted optimism...

...though I suspect that the full page ads the magazine was running for masks based on the ones in the film may have had something to do with it. The film did make money, though not nearly as much as hoped for and racked up enough terrible reviews that the producers retreated to the comfort of familiar territory for the fourth film. The Wikipedia entry for Halloween III: Season of the Witch claims that it "has gained somewhat of a cult following among audiences," which signifies little except that the one fan of the movie knows how to edit a wiki page.

For me, the film is significant for being one of the first instances where the popcult coprophagia of childhood gave way to a more sophisticated assessment of "Wow, this film is total crap! Why am I wasting my time watching it?" (I consider myself lucky. Many geeks never reach that level of awareness in their lifetimes.)

While I'm not above dropping a reference to the Silver Shamrock jingle from the film, for today's musical selections I'm going with two gems featured in the original 1978 movie.

John Carpenter - Halloween Theme (from the Halloween 20th Anniversary Edition OST, 1998) - Yes, there is a boogeyman, and he really digs the piano.

Blue Öyster Cult - (Don't Fear) The Reaper (from Agents of Fortune, 1976) - First person to make a "more cowbell" joke gets a size 10 jungle boot to the ass.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 18 - come on, sing out

Ladies and gentlemen, bats and ghouls, I give you...

...Josie McCoy, Prophet of Doom!

While it may seem unusual that a promising teenage pop star would turn her back on her music career in favor of issuing cryptic warnings about the End of Days, one needs to remember that Josie has shown a certain sensitivity to supernatural influences.

Perhaps it's her red hair. Or maybe because she once listened to South of Heaven and "kind of liked it." Or it could be that Mr. McCoy pledged his infant daughter's soul to the Horned One in exchange for a really sweet deal on a gas-powered leafblower. The true cause may never be known, but the fact remains that the perky frontwoman for the Pussycats walks in the shade-haunted borderlands between the natural and supernatural worlds, and even the most mundane activities, such as buying a piece of costume jewelry at a yard sale...

...can invite the attentions of the Dark Powers.

Fortunately for Josie, she is blessed with friends both pure of heart (Melody) and hep to the sinister snares of the occult (Valerie). Val determines (by making a check against her Lore skill) that Josie's necklace is actually the Falcon's Claw, a totem associated with the Falcon's Nest, one of the many places of unholy evil which surround the Greendale-Midvale-Riverdale metropolitan area.

The girls pile into Val's VW Beetle to check out the place, which has been abandoned since a "vigilante committee" drove the resident suburban death cultists out of town. While axe handles and baseball bats are suitable countermeasures against amateur hour Satanists, they are not quite as effective in dealing with unclean spirits.

The spectral inhabitants of the Falcon's Nest, suffering from abandonment issues and hungry for human company, rush in to greet their young visitors, though perhaps a little too rambunctiously for their guests' comfort...

Before the ectoplasmic shenanigans get too out of hand, however, Josie finally cops wise to the connection between the yard sale trinket and the ghostly manifestations (and they call Melody the "dumb one" of the group), and violently casts the pendant away.

In the process, she also casts the candle she was holding in the direction of the drapery, causing a catastrophic blaze which quickly consumes (or in terms that would please Cotton Mather, "purifies") the Falcon's Next in a matter of minutes.

The girls manage to escape the flames and the story concludes on a cheery, upbeat note...

...followed by an pointed warning about the dangers of buying things from yard sales, because "sometimes you get more than you bargain for." Sure, that second-hand salad shooter seems like a steal at three bucks, but is the convenience worth the cost to your immortal soul? The road to utter damnation is paved with incomplete skittle ball sets.

Think about it.

(from Josie & The Pussycats #68, April 1973)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 15 - American nightmare

Pick at the scab of American society and you will reap a rich harvest of pus blooms.

Forget ghosts and ghoulies and the other assorted things that go bump in the night, true horror wears a human face and resides much, much closer to home.

Dead Kennedys - Saturday Night Holocaust (from the b-side of 1982's "Halloween" 7"; collected on Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death, 1987) - Every day, in every way, the world lurches a step or two closer towards the nightmare world Jello Biafra envisioned.

At least we're making progress on something...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 8 - never can resist him

Behold, the TERRIFYING VISAGE of COUNT DRACULA!

There are several reasons why the early 1950's are considered to be the golden age of horror comics, but Eerie Comics #12 (August 1953) isn't one of them.

....and since I've already dirtied my hands rummaging through the pauper's grave of popcult obscurities in search of suitable material, I might as well toss this curious specimen in your general direction:

Toto Coelo - Dracula's Tango (from a 1982 single; collected on I Eat Cannibals & Other Tasty Trax, 1996) - Moving from flesh-eating to blood-drinking over the course of a few months -- you don't see that kind of creative growth in today's musical acts.

(In case you were wondering, "Toto Coelo" is the original name of the new wave girl group. They were rechristened "Total Coelo" for American releases, lest the unwashed masses confuse them with the "Rosanna" guys. Give me dance pop goofiness over soporific soft rock any day.)

(Note: In today's installment of pronounced WOO-BIN, I beat on a countercultural legend.)

Monday, October 06, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 6 - deader than dead

Zombie Jen and Zombie Maura at yesterday's Zombie Walk in Salem.

No offense to the lovely ladies in the above photo, but zombies ain't what they used to be. Like Dracula and Frankenstein's monster before them, they've become quaint archetypes denuded of much of their shock value by media oversaturation. It has reached a point where even a fan of the zombie apocalypse subgenre such as myself has become jaded, and the shambling hordes of ravenous undead have become a shallow high concept plug-in (see also: monkeys, ninjas, and pirates) or simply locked into a predictable formula.

More so than the various slasher fiends that haunted the screen back in the day, zombies were the true archetype of horror for my generation, which came of age in the rubble of the Grand Consensus and the rise of Reagan. They were creatures born of miscalculation, failure, and/or hubris, a rotted reflection of contemporary society reduced to its basic impulses -- consume and assimilate.

They were an effective visualization of underlying anxieties -- ecological, biological, racial, economic -- reflecting the sense that society was poised to devour itself. It's a concept that can, and did, float a host of metaphorical conceits wrapped in a gut-munching package. And so it played out, with various levels of competence, across scores of low-budget domestic and European films that graced the drive-ins and video stores of my childhood and early teens.

As fringe entertainment, it was great fun, terrifying and amusing in equal measure. Once it came to the foreground of the popcult consciousness, however, things began to fall apart quickly. Blame the popularity of the Resident Evil games or the inherent decadence of the entertainment biz, but once the professional tastemakers turned their Eye of Sauron onto the zombie subgenre, it was a foregone conclusion that they wouldn't move on until it been completely strip-mined.

Sequels, remakes, spin-offs, tributes, parodies, cash-ins -- the whole arsenal of weapons of commercial destruction were employed toward this end. The dreaded "death of a thousand tweaks" tactic of making minor alterations to the established conventions was rolled out as an attempt to stress differences ("Hey, our zombies can RUN FAST!") while wallowing in sameness ("Otherwise, though it's a straight-up zombie flick!"). The gore 'n' metaphor formula, incidental or organic in the source material, became self-consciously codified to the point of absurdity. ("WE SURVIVORS ARE THE REAL LIVING DEAD!" Dude, that's, like, soooo deep. Yawn.)

Such is the way of all corpse flesh. At least we'll always have Louisville...because Return of the Living Dead, no matter how cheapjack it looks to me these days, is still the most depressing and disturbing horror film I've ever seen. Exploitation cinema has never been so unrelentingly Sophoclean.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

chainsaw massacre mon amour

From the letters page of the October 1983 issue of Fangoria magazine on comes this transatlantic appel du coeur:


I wonder if any of Fangoria's three or four female readers (which, like dark matter and the Higgs boson, are a purely theoretical supposition) took this Charles Boyer du cinéma d'horreur up on his offer, and exchanged passionate letters about their shared love of The Beast Within and I Spit on Your Grave.

"Oh, mon ami, when saw I the photo of you in red food coloring and corn syrup covered, my heart, it lept. Someday soon together shall we be, Basket Case watching and searching Fulci zombie films from street vendors du bootleg video...."

Les Beatlettes - C'est Grâce À Toi (from Girl Group Power, Histoires de Filles: Quebec 60's Go-Go Music) - If I hadn't posted a Me First & The Gimme Gimmes track recently, I'd have gone with their cover of Johnny Lee's "Lookin' for Love" in a heartbeat. As it is, you'll just have to settle for this Francophone rendition of a Supremes classic, which shows that it is possible to have some infectious girl group fun without diluting one's sense of cultural identity.

Comix - Touche Pas Mon Sexe (from BIPPP: French Synth Wave 1979-85, 2008) - I learned about this compilation of vintage French synth wave from Joe over at Last Days of Man on Earth, and I owe him big time for the heads-up, as it has become my hands-down choice for favorite album of 2008. (Its melancholic electronic futurism was also responsible for dislodging the "Philadelphia Freedom" earworm I picked up during my second dental abcess of the year.)

Erasure - Oh L'amour (from Wonderland, 1986) - There's nothing Gallic about this one apart from the title, but we could all use a bit more confectionary synthpop in our lives. (If you responded to that with "not me," then I especially mean you, buster.)

Note: There's a new post up at the other blog in which I tackle a work of classical literature at the behest of a friend.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

the banality of sadism

A week or so back, the wife and I made one last trip to the local comics and used book store's basement "all for a dollar" room before its closure. As it was the last hurrah for the beloved place where we've bought hundreds of cheap vintage paperbacks over the years, we went a little crazy scooping up anything remotely of interest, be it genre classics, trashy potboilers, or even honest-to-snobbery literature.

I used the opportunity to buy a lot of books I ought to have read or owned but never gotten around to acquiring, as well as large number of works that fell within the "guilty pleasures" and "modest curiosity" categories (like Graham Masterton's Famine, a Mork and Mindy photonovel, and the novelization of Moon Zero Two). I also nabbed a copy of Splatter Punks, a 1990 anthology of "extreme horror" released by St. Martin's Press in 1990.

It was something I'd seen on the shelf during many a previous visit, but even the markdown from a fiver to a buck hadn't been enough to convince me to get off the fence...especially since the stories by the two authors I liked, Clive Barker and Joe R. Landsale, had been anthologized in other books I already owned. Considering this was my last chance to pick it up as an impulse purchase, though, I figured I might as well blow the four quarters and just buy the damn thing.

It turned out to be exactly what I expected -- not quite good, but not quite terrible either. I'm less than keen on the tendency to coin new subgenre by adding the "-punk" suffix. When "cyberpunk" was coined in the early 1980's it made an excellent descriptor for William Gibson's blend of street-level aesthetics and science-fiction. The problem was that once the designated subgenre was coined, a slew of imitators -- some good, most downright dire -- rushed in to create works that fit the form from creative inception. (I've toyed doing a series of posts titled "Bad Cyberpunk," but shelved the idea when I realized that I'd have to reread most of the works in the process.)

From that one seed a thousand subgenres (and microgenres) were born -- steampunk, cybergothic, Edwardian-punk, biopunk, postcyberpunk, ribofunk, and so forth -- in a process of marketing most fractal. Splatterpunk was one of the early adopters, coined in the mid-1980's in reference to the works of Clive Barker (and it always comes back to Barker) and other writers of "visceral," as opposed to "suggestive," horror fiction.

So what, you may be asking, does that really mean? According to "Outlaws", a manifesto written by Paul M. Sammon, editor of Splatter Punks:

Well...first remove the limits society and so-called good taste place on fiction. All the limits. Add a healthy dose of shock as well as the influence of schlock movies, late-night TV, and the screaming guitar licks of the world's greatest heavy-metal band.

Finally, stir in a strong awareness of of pop culture. Season with a no bullshit attitude. Serve up some of the best writing in the field today.
Oh, dear. He's not kidding about the lack of restraint, at least as it pertains to the hard sell hyperbole. The thing is, and Sammon even mentions this in his essay, that graphically violent horror fiction is hardly a new phenomenon, even by 1990 standards. Richard Matheson's Hell House, the works of Stephen King and James Herbert, and scores of potboliers penned in the 1970's made ample use of over-the-top sex and gore to spice things up. Clive Barker's Books of Blood weren't revolutionary for their luridness, but for the author's unique approach to the genre, which presents a mix of mythic and mundane akin to the South American "magical realist" school of fiction.

In the absence of a similar sense of creative vision, most of the stories in Splatter Punks resort to the twin banalities of popcult namedropping and casual brutality to propel the thinnest of narrative gruel. The marriage of high concepts and cheap thrills is a perfectly workable one, but it's not revolutionary, nor is it necessarily worthy of a distinct genre tag...apart from the marketability such a thing brings with it. The fact that many of the anthology's featured authors either flat out reject the splatterpunk label or treat it with noticible ambivalence is telling.

There's also a distinct defensive tone to the Sammon's advocacy, directed at the traditionalists then in nominal charge of the "scene" as well as toward the critics' concern about the misogynist subtext present in many of the works. Even a story like John Skipp's "Film at Eleven," presented as an rebuttal to those concerns, comes off as as rather disingenuous, a spin on The Burning Bed that manages to undermine its own message for the sake of some predictable shock value.

Joe R. Lansdale's "The Night They Missed the Horror Show" does a far better job at balancing social awareness and graphic violence -- imagine To Kill a Mockingbird directed by George Romero -- but Lansdale is one of the author's who refused to self-identify with the splatterpunk label. Douglas E. Winters's "Less Than Zombie" purports to send up the morally apathetic protagonists of Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than Zero, but the end results read less like pointed satire than a straight excerpt from the hundred or so pages cut from the final draft of Ellis's novel.

Overheated boasts about relevance and transgressive power aside, it takes more than a meticulously detailed description of stabbing or scatalogically-vivid purple prose to legitimately break genre boundaries in a manner that doesn't reek adolescent posturing.

Rubicon - Watch Without Pain (from What Starts, Ends, 1992) - Acceptable, if not especially inspired, gothic rock with ties to the far superior Fields of the Nephilim.

My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow (from Loveless, 1991) - Yet deep enough to submerge the Himalayas....

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday Night Fights: The Devil Was a Lady

(from Vampire Tales #3, February 1974; by Gerry Conway & Esteban Maroto)

Unlike her dear old dad, Satana (a.k.a. "The Devil's Daughter") doesn't have a problem indulging in the occasional vulgar display of power.

Elvis Presley - (You're the) Devil in Disguise (from a 1963 single) - In the Name of our King Elvis Aaron Presley! It is he who commands you! It is he who carried you from the depths of Hell to the gates of Heaven with his powerful voice and some killer tempo changes!

(Beyond good and evil.)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

installed to cop


Boston really never had much in the way of a homegrown gothic music scene, which is pretty surprising considering the city's historical atmosphere, architecture, and abundance of "spooky" locales. Salem's pagan Mecca is just a short hop up Route 1 from the city proper, and the Halloween season around these parts is absolutely note-perfect, a time when chill October winds make the fallen leaves caper and dance around the crumbling headstones of colonial burial grounds under the glow of a swollen harvest moon.

While the region's inherent spooktacular qualities would seem like a more fertile ground for a local goth scene to take root in than Los Angeles' surf, sun, and subdivisions, it never managed to happen. There was a small handful of bands clustered around the BDSM-themed multimedia hijinks of Sleep Chamber (who as a band, made an okay performance art troupe), but they made little if any impact outside their small circle. It wasn't until the early 90's that Sleep Chamber, in a symbiotic relationship with the goth-friendly (but not goth-exclusive) dance venue Man Ray, evolved into a minor cult sensation, but by that time the band's sound had drifted into then-popular industrial-dance music realm.

That's not to say that Greater Boston didn't have its share of goth devotees in the early-to-mid-1980's, but most of the crowd (the younger ones, especially) tended to exist as a subset of the larger punk milieu. As my wife, who was a punk rocker at the time put it, "the pretty punks became goths." In music, as with fashion, the barriers between the non-hardcore punk and goth sets blurred, with the fans getting their darkly iridescent music fixes from the UK's thriving gothic rock scene. Not surprising considering that, with the exception of LA's roster of "deathrock" acts, very few American bands copped onto the early 80's goth sound, and the few who did tended to be, well, uninspired.

Which brings us to the matter of Holy Cow, who were one of the aforementioned local gothic rock outfits in Sleep Chamber's orbit. Maura caught them live, as the opening act Specimen, back in her teenage years, and despised them, mostly due to the absurd onstage antics of their frontman. (Apparently he had an excessive fondness for leaping around and mugging for the audience, to the point where Maura was worried he was going to reach out and grab her eyeglasses from her face.) As a result, "Holy Cow" became a shorthand reference for a terrible performance, and a mention of the band's name would bring an elicit an reflexive "Oh, Gawd..." from the lovely lass (as it did this morning when I told her what I planned to write about today).

I'm not ashamed to confess that when it comes to the differences in taste between Maura and myself there is a point where I willingly cede matters to my personal imp of the perverse. My appreciation for certain bands or songs is heightened (Bowie's "Drive-In Saturday," Lord Sitar) or in some cases entirely predicated (Shampoo) or anticipating my wife's disgusted reaction when they crop up on the Zune's playlist during a commute home from work.

(I see it as a way to defuse incidental tensions in a non-belligerent manner, thus maintaining our usually harmonious relationship. Maura may see it differently. In fact, when it comes to Shampoo, I know she does.)

And so, when I came across a copy of Call It What You Will, Holy Cow's 1986 debut album, in the "Misc. H" bin at Second Coming Records back in the summer of 1993, I knew I had to buy it. Having only listened to it in the safety of my own personal space, with no risk of harm to my spectacles, I have to say it's really not that bad. It's simply redundant.

From the vocalist's blatant Peter Murphy impersonation to the obligatory dub-derived sonic effects, Call It What You Will makes no attempt to conceal the band's attempt to ape Bauhaus circa 1980. While I think In The Flat Field was and is a fantastic record, I really can't see the point of making a blurry mimeograph of the album half a decade after the fact.

It doesn't help that Holy Cow chose to fully embrace the genre tropes that were still in gestation when Bauhaus recorded their debut album six years prior. Good goth music tends to either walk a fine line between atmosphere and pretense (Bauhaus, UK Decay), or embrace the sillier aspects of the subject matter in a tongue in cheek fashion (Specimen, Alien Sex Fiend). Screw with the balance and there's a high risk of devolving -- no matter how strong the material may otherwise be -- into caricature, unintentional self-parody, or even worse, the po-faced absurdity associated with the death metal scene.

Remember: A little bit of the macabre goes a long way, and there are better way to honor one's heroes than to dress up in their natty old clothes.

From Call It What You Will:

Holy Cow - Ichorous Pus

Holy Cow - Lady Cadava

(For the record, this is the first post in which I made use of my USB turntable. It only took me four months to set it up, which is a new record time for my achieving a stated goal.)

Saturday, April 19, 2008

architects of fear

For today's post, I'd like to pose a simple question to you, the reader:

Which of these two panels seems more likely to induce lasting psychological damage?

1. a standard "injury to the eye" number taken from a Jack Cole crime story

OR

2. this representative image of Peachy Pet, Johnny Thunder's precocious ward

I know which of the two images is going to cause me many a sleepless night in the weeks and months to come...

Frederic Wertham was right. His only mistake was focusing on the wrong targets.

Curve - Horror Head (from Doppelgänger, 1992) - Mining the same vein as Garbage, only earlier and, most importantly, better.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

feed your head

While I've used the above cover to The Unexpected #202 (September 1980) in at least two previous posts, I've actually never managed to get around to discussing the actual story to which it loosely refers. It's a grevious omission on my part, and one I plan on rectifying in today's special Easter installment of Armagideon Time.

Written by Michael Uslan and illustrated by Terry Henson, "Hopping Down the Bunny Trail" begins with the residents of Anytown, USA wondering about a mysterious advertising blitz for an Easter Egg hunt being held at the local Place of Ill OmenTM. While some parents have questions about the whos and whys behind the event...

...they are quickly shamed into silence by their less intellectually curious peers, who just assume that the municipal government is behind the proceedings.

After the Doubting Thomases have been convinced to put their faith in the City Council ahead of parental concern, the kids are sent off to join in the festivities and indulge in a moment of heavy-duty, low-grade horror comic story foreshadowing:

Upon arriving at the abandoned mansion, the children are greeted by the the Easter Bunny himself, a jovial lagomorphic nightmare who tempts them inside his secret lair with offers of candy and presents and strange mutterings about "nine days, three hours, and two minutes"...

The tykes let their greed (or stupidity, considering how vulgar Darwinism tends to be the motivation du jour for characters in cheapjack horror comics) overcome years of warnings delivered via filmstrips, after-school specials, and parental lectures about taking presents from talking animals (or even worse, from furries), and go gallivanting through the dark, bat-infested ruin in search of ovoid booty.

Things take a strange turn, however, when the kids fall into a concealed pit and land in a vat of chocolate sauce. This would normally be the point where a person with a fully functioning fight-or-flight reflex might tumble onto the notion that perhaps the Easter Bunny has his own separate agenda that goes beyond simply bringing joy to the children of Anytown. Not these kids, though, who seem to take it all in wide-eyed stride...

..until it's too late to make a difference, that is...

Now some of you might be wondering how the act of mastic decapitation performed upon a confectionary effigy could justify a similar action taken against a living being. The answer is deeply rooted in the Lapinite world view, which does not differentiate between the symbolic and the actual when it comes to assessing transgressions and assigning consequences. This aspect of lagomorphic culture was also the reason behind the global outbreak of violent rabbit protests following the publication of Beatrix Potter's manuscripts.

Lest the ersatz irony of that harsh (though cultural relativists may object to that description) act of retribution be lost on the readers, the writer and artist were considerate enough to restate it in the concluding panel, which in keeping with genre conventions possesses all the delicate subtlety of a grand piano dropped from a third-story roof.


If you thought that was creepy, you should have seen the sick plan for revenge the marshmallow Peeps staged that year.

The Damned - White Rabbit (Extended Version) (from the 1991 CD reissue of 1979's Machine Gun Ettiquette LP) - The Damned take Jefferson Airplane out for a spin and it turns out to be a quite groovy -- if slightly wobbly -- trip, indeed.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

12 Days of Christmas - Day 2: joy to the world

Today we have a little nugget of holiday cheer, in the form of "A Slay Ride with Santa" which appeared in Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion #15 (February-March 1974).

Ten-time loser Bill Digby ekes out a marginal living as a street corner Kris Kringle...


The pay might not be the best, but the job does make things easier for him in his other profession...


...as a murderer of children. (Feeling the Yuletide joy yet?) Given Digby's propensity of leaving the corpses of his victims hanging from the rafters of his flophouse apartment, it's only a matter of time before Johnny Law brings the hammer down...


...so he seeks refuge in a conveniently-parked sleigh (left with the reindeer idling) in a dark alleyway. (Gee, I wonder what's going to happen next.)


The real Santa Claus, having taken a quick pit stop for a large coffee regulah and a couple of Hark the Herald Angels Scratch lottery tickets, hops back into the driver's seat and jets off to attend to his yearly gift-dispensing rounds. The perplexed stowaway fugitive stands up in an attempt to get his bearings...


...only to discover that the someone has left a neatly-wrapped package full of ironic justice for him under the tree this year.


It's a Christmas miracle! Though I pity the poor family that wakes up on Christmas morning to find Digby's battered and frozen corpse draped over the inflatable snow globe in their front yard...

The Damned - There Ain't No Sanity Clause (from a 1980 single; collected on Eternally Damned, 1994) - Barnstorming punk with Marxist (Chico Marx, that is) overtones? Just the thing to kick the holiday festivities into gear, I've discovered. (Well, that and stained glass cookies, but those are a hassle to make.)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 31 – though your music lingers on


All Hallows' Eve is upon us, dear readers, and with it, the final installment of this year's Halloween countdown. So which track has earned a place of honor at the top of the list?

In the 2006 countdown, I had a last minute change of heart and decided to go with UK Decay's ghoulishly trancendental "Unexpected Guest" over my original choice, Bauhaus' "Bela Lugosi's Dead," because as much as I love that seminal piece of gothica, it seemed too darn obvious. This time around, I've settled on a selection that, while familiar to most, perfectly captures (for me, at least) the feel of this haunted time of year. That track is...

The Cure - A Forest (from Seventeen Seconds, 1980)

I posted the entertainingly absurd Creaming Jesus cover of the song during last year's countdown, but nothing, nothing captures the melodic minimalist desolation of the original. It's the musical equivalent of a late October frost; though arguably the perkiest track on Seventeen Seconds, there is a coldness to "A Forest" that can induce gooseflesh even on the most opressively humid dog day in August.

For those hoping for something a little more visually terrifying, here's a joyous little gem culled from the pages of Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion #9 (January-February 1973):


It comes from "The Head of the House," a horrid little tale that combines racist and sexist overtones with hamfistedly telegraphed plot twists. The moral of the story is "if you are going to ask an indigenous tribe for their secret of eternal beauty, you probably shouldn't insult and/or murder the members of said tribe prior to the administration of the process." Oh, and "unattractive women who bully their husbands will end up with a shrunken head."

And so concludes this year's Halloween countdown. I hope you've all enjoyed it and will perhaps stick around when AT resumes its normally scheduled programming, starting tomorrow. I'd also like to extend a big thanks to all those who've made with the linkage and kind words over the past thirty-one days.

I guess all that's left before I go off to binge on Z-grade 80's horror films and fun size boxes of Milk Duds (because my dentist could use the extra work) is to draw the curtains, kill the lights, and cue the end theme music...

Paul Williams - The Hell of It (from the Phantom of the Paradise OST, 1974) - The superior 70's glam rock horror flick: Rocky Horror or Phantom of the Paradise? I'm going to go with Brian De Palma and Paul Williams over Tim Curry and Susan Sarandon, if only because Phantom of the Paradise lacks the stigma of an overly rabid fan base. I call that "evoking the Joss Whedon Principle."

Monday, October 22, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 22 – the flavor of the beast

For several millennia, humankind has labored to grasp what the real nature of evil truly is. Is it an abstract, relative concept? Or a concrete and absolute force? Is it embodied by a big, red guy with cloven hooves and a pitchfork? Or, as I and many others have come to believe, does its physical manifestation come in the form of the vile weed known as cilantro?

While the theologians, philosophers, and gourmands of the world attempt to hash out details of this thorny debate, filmmaker John Carpenter has offered his only theory about the nature of evil. As detailed in 1987's damp squib of a horror movie, Prince of Darkness, Carpenter posits that evil is actually a couple dozen gallons of swirling green goop shakily contained inside the bastard child of a water cooler and a lava lamp.


Last night, I sat in on my wife's annual viewing of Prince of Darkness (as part of her Halloween season movie-watching marathon). It had been a while since I'd seen the film in its entirety, and while I didn't think it has aged well compared to my memories of past viewings, it was still an enjoyable experience. It's not a great (or even a "really good") movie, but it is John Carpenter working his familiar "spooky Alamo" trope with some interesting cosmic horror elements tossed into the mix. Unfortunately, it's those latter elements, used in contrast with more traditional film scare tactics, that ultimately derail Prince of Darkness.

Cosmic horror, dealing with epic concepts and existential terrors, is a difficult genre to translate to film because the visceral, immediate "gotcha" moments that are the trademark of Hollywood spookshows matter less than the the tonal slow burn of mounting dread, fueled by revelatory exposition and a sense of the unspoken, terrible answer looming at the periphery. Even the grandmaster of the cosmic horror genre, H. P. Lovecraft, was not immune to falling back upon less subtle spookwork in his stories. (The shoggoth chase in "At the Mountains of Madness," for example.)

The exposition-heavy set-ups required by the cosmic genre tend to work better on paper, where it's easier to pass off "non-euclidean angles" and "colors outside the earthly spectrum" without having to fall into the Helen of Troy trap (that is, the problem of visually depicting the indescribable). What all this fancy talk means in terms of Prince of Darkness is that the movie plays out as a lumpy stew where the characters attempt (and fail, mostly) to couch Christian theology in terms of quantum physics while fending off hordes of the demonically possessed.

Imagine a version of Resident Evil where the characters stop to recite passages from Richard Feynman's work every ten minutes or so, and you've pretty much got the idea. It's a shame, because the ideas being bandied out in the movie are quite fascinating, despite the confusing and haphazard way in which they're presented.

The film does have a number of unsettling moments sprinkled amidst the confusion, and features appearances by several Carpenter regulars, as well as a scene featuring Alice Cooper impaling a man with a bicycle. For sheer terrifying power, however, nothing in the film tops leading man Jameson (Simon & Simon) Parker's aggressively disturbing blonde mustache. (Between that, his Ken doll hairstyle, and his compeltely hairless chest, I found myself referring to his character simply as "Chad Pornstar" when discussing the film with my wife afterwards.)

Gaze upon the facial fuzz of evil, and despair!

Here we have the theme from Prince of Darkness, along with an excellent gothic-tinged cover -- courtesy of AT fave Blood and Roses -- of the best film theme the multi-talented Mr. Carpenter ever composed:

John Carpenter - Prince of Darkness (from The Essential John Carpenter, 2002)

Blood and Roses - Escape from Precinct 13 (from Enough Is Never Enough, 1985; collected on Same as It Never Was, 2007)

(Finally, if any of my readers happen to know the exact location of the church where the film was shot, please leave a comment or drop me a line. My wife is dying to know The church is now the Union Center for the Arts in Little Tokyo, not too far from City Hall. The interior shots were done at a studio in Valencia.)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 16 – in strange aeons, even acidwash will die


Those Demim Ones were gone now, relegated to the dim limbo of consignment shops and Planet Aid drop-offs; but their dead bodies had told their fashion secrets in dreams to the first men, who created a style which had never died. It had always existed and always would exist, hidden in distant closets and dark wardrobes all over the world until the time when the great priest Osh'kosh'b'gosh, from his retail storefront in the mighty city of St'rip Ma'al, should rise and bring all trousers again beneath his sway. Some day he would call, when the measurements were ready, and the fashionistas would always be waiting to liberate him.

These jeans we wear were once theirs, and will one day be theirs again.

D'kron c'tton b'lend.


- H.P. Toughskins, "At the Inseams of Madness."

Fred Schneider - Monster (from Fred Schneider & The Shake Society, 1984) - Release the beast!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 15 – there's a crack in the mirror

So, if the critical theorists are to be believed, the horror story, at its core, functions as cautionary tale intended to reinforce normative behavior (by depicting the grim fate of transgressors) and/or reflect contemporary societal anxieties. With that in mind, let's turn our attention to "The Boy Who Cried Vampire," another tale from the headscratchingly bizarre Chilling Adventures in Sorcery As Told By Sabrina #1 (September, 1972).

During the course of a family dinner party, young Stanley Caldwell makes a discovery about his dapper (yet sinister) "Uncle Brucie," a frequent guest of the family:

Stanley's protests fall upon deaf ears, but after the party, he encounters Uncle Brucie in the study, and...well...

That's a very...interesting...choice of metaphor, and quite possibly the inspiration behind this.

When Stanley emerges from his trance with a fresh set of puncture wounds on his neck, he attempts to expose Uncle Brucie's secret life, though perhaps not in the most effective manner. Bare-chested histrionics have their place and all, but one mustn't let the medium obscure the message:

"Yes, Magic Fork, impart unto us your flatware wisdom!"

The discovery of Occam's meatprongs on the carpet leads Stanley's parents, with a little encouragement from Uncle Brucie, to conclude that Stanley must have accidentally stabbed himself with the sharp object while sleepwalking. "See, son, there's no such thing as vampires! You just happened to mutilate yourself while in a zombie-like state! Feel better now?"

In order to reassure Stanley, Mr. Caldwell calls in a few favors and takes the fork to an open-all-night forensic pathologist who specializes in cutlery-related injuries. The pathologist's results confirm the sleepwalking theory, and a chastened Stanley apologizes to Uncle Brucie, who offers to give the teen a ride home.

But it's not long before Brucie parks his car in a nice, secluded place, and...

It's the Bram Stoker version of Boys Beware!

...and so another innocent youth is indoctrinated into the vampiric lifestyle. When will society ever learn?

Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting (The Vampire Song) (from Bloodletting, 1990) - I never paid much mind to Concrete Blonde back in the day, but I've since grown to appreciate a select few of their songs, due to their being in heavy rotation (along with The The's and The Wonder Stuff's material) on the digital music channel I listen to while reading.