Showing posts with label goth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goth. Show all posts

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 30 - this magic moment

I remember that day as if it was yesterday...

(From The Witching Hour #36, November 1973)

Almost seventeen years together and four years this day as husband and wife, and we owe it all to the Dark Arts!

(I kid. Maura is actually an animist non-traditional Catholic, which parses as "witch" to my Puritan-descended cognitive processes.)

Happy Anniversary, my Funky Foo! Even on those very rare occasions when things have been less than harmonious, they've always been interesting.

Combustible Edison - Bewitched (from the Four Rooms OST, 1995) - I don't particularly care for Tarantino's body of work, as I also possess worn copies of the Psychotronic movie guides and familiarity with the films he liberally cherry-picks his gimmicks from. I do appreciate fine vintage and contemporary lounge music (while despising the obnoxious lounge revival subculture), and this soundtrack album delivers the retrolicious goods.

Siouxsie & The Banshees - Spellbound (from Juju, 1981) - The creative wheels fell off the band with 1986's Tinderbox LP, but not before Ms. Sioux and Company recorded an impressive body of goth-pop-adelic gems which still stand the test of time.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 29 - think about it

Back in my junior high days, my friend Brian and I would hike up the Middlesex Canal path to the (now defunct) Northeast Trade Center whenever Jolly Jim's Flea Market rolled into town. A three dollar admission fee (if a friend wasn't working the gate that day) would grant one access to a hundred or so stalls filled to the brim with overpriced crap...and the one dude in the far corner who sold comic books.

Brian was an early adopter of the comic collector ethos that stresses bags, backing boards, and buying multiple copies of a book for investment purposes. For him, these trips were joyless exercises in speculative accounting where he'd blow ten bucks on two "hot" comics that he'd never actually read.

For me, though, it was all about the quarter bins, which in those days were packed near to bursting with overstock from the previous decade (i.e. the 1970s). Three dollars would net the ambitious longbox digger a dozen issues of disposable entertainment -- reprints of Silver Age DC sci-fi stories, random issues of Marvel Team-Up and Marvel Two-in-One, and books involving obscure bits of trivia gleaned from my (then) incomplete run of the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe.

None of the comics I purchased could even remotely be classified as "money" books -- though that hasn't stopped some of the sleazier comics stores from slapping a ten dollar price tag on the Monark Starstalker issue of Marvel Premiere and seeing if some fool will take the bait -- but I didn't get into the hobby to see a return on my investment. I got into it because it was dumb escapist fun.

That's how I ended up with a complete run of the "It! The Living Colossus" stories from Astonishing Tales. They aren't especially good or groundbreaking or intellectually stimulating, but they entertained me.

It! (the exclamation point signifies a clicking sound, as per the language of the African bushmen, I assume) originally debuted as "The Colossus" in Tales of Suspense #14 (February 1961), back in the days when Marvel's bread and butter were improbably named monsters bent on terrorizing the world. The Colossus was an example of the socialist Realism aesthetic gone horribly wrong -- a hundred foot tall stone statue commissioned (under threat of death) to celebrate the power of the proletariat.

Unfortunately, the Marxist concept of historical inevitability did not take into account the possibility that a crab-like alien creature would appear, merge with the monument, and go on a rampage behind the Iron Curtain...

...which offered Jack Kirby the opportunity to re-imagine The Amazing Colossal Man as Cold War agitprop. Damn cool, indeed.

Though the story ended with the promise of a new age of global peace and understanding, The Colossus returned in Tales of Suspense #20 (August 1961), in which the Soviets decide to ship the now-inert statue to Hollywood as a "gesture of peace." The alien crabmen, having backslid from their previous state of enlightenment into a warlike state, once again seized control of the Colossus, resulting in another stone cold rampage. The American military fared no better than its Warsaw Pact counterparts in stopping the carnage, and even the mighty beatniks were helpless in the face of the stone titan's wrath.

It was left to Bob O'Bryan to save the day, and the unappreciated set designer concocted a plan to lure the aliens out of the Colossus and into a bigger, meaner looking statue loaded with high explosives and a remote detonator. O'Byran's quick thinking earned him the renown long denied him as well as the affections of starlet Diane Cummings.

The Colossus, now sporting the "It!" moniker, returned in the pages of Astonishing Tales #21 (December 1973) as one of Marvel's many attempts to dress up superhero material in monstrous clothing. Bob O'Byran, having been upgraded to a crack special effects man during the interim, decides to put the Colossus to use as the star of a sci-fi blockbuster. His work is interrupted, however, when a ham actor rival for Diane's affections causes an accident that leaves O'Bryan confined to a wheelchair and trapped in a perpetually surly mood.

Bob's rants about the cruelty of fate are interrupted by a bunch of goons seeking to abscond with the Colossus, and in his impotent rage discovers he has the power to telepathically control the statue. He also discovers that animated stone constructs are vulnerable to nerve gas -- despite having neither lungs nor nerves -- and the Colossus is hauled off to the lair of Dr. Vault, a mad scientist of the most generic variety.

Vault has a hankering for a strong, new body and thinks that a bald, granite statue with no genitalia would be perfect for his purposes. He is not as keen about the size, though, and uses his mad science prowess to shrink the Colossus to a more strip club-friendly eight feet tall. The process is interrupted around the thirty-foot benchmark by O'Bryan, who reasserts control and smashes up Vault's hidden lair. Filled with a renewed sense of purpose, Bob spent the next three issues fighting various scale-appropriate fellow monsters from Marvel's pre-superhero days in between indulging in bouts of typical four-color melodramatic angst.

Viewed with a grown up's eye, the stories are pretty bland and predicable, with the beats rigidly mapped to the overused device of O'Bryan losing his connection with the Colossus at dramatically convenient moments. They also suffer from an over reliance on passing reprinted Silver Age material as in-story flashback sequences and Dick Ayers, an artist whose work I tend to like, trying too hard to mimic Jack Kirby's early 1960's style....which was nifty in 1961, but baffling and distracting in 1973.

Yet for all that, I still retain a good deal of affection for the run, because there's a point where you just have to put aside the quibbles and take the concept of a thirty-foot telepathic flying (Did I mention the Colossus can fly? It! can, and why shouldn't It! be able to?) statue that fights Giant Space Gargoyles on top of the Capitol Records building and fights Giant Chinese Kung-Fu Fighting Dragons for the absurd thing of flawed beauty it is.

That would be Fing Fang Foom, Jack Kirby's re-imagining of Godzilla as Cold War agitprop!

It! The Living Colossus's Astonishing Tales run ended on a inconclusive note with issue #24, but the dangling plot threads were resolved a half-decade later in The Incredible Hulk #244 (February 1980). Bob O'Bryan -- successful, married to Diane, and walking again -- comes out of semi-retirement to protect the City of Angels from the fury of the Jade Giant, only to have his control of the Colossus wrested away by the fiendish Dr. Vault.

Having finally gained the perfect body he'd waited so long for, Vault falls prey to excessive euphoria and tries to go toe to toe with the Hulk. It goes about as well as you'd think...

O'Bryan takes the destruction of the Colossus in stride, as he'd already moved on past the animated statue follies of youth into more adult pursuits. Comics being comics, though, both Bob and the Colossus have made the occasional appearances since then, as there is no character so obscure or resolution so final that someone won't resurrect It! out of irony...or even worse, totally sincere reverence.

Alien Sex Fiend - Get Into It (from It: The Album, 1986) - I was really into it for a year or two, then I fell out of it, forgot about it for a while, then rediscovered it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 25 - comfort and joy

Given the present state of the world, it's only natural to feel a little depressed. That's why I've decided to brighten your day with some uplifting content taken from "The Day Happy Died," a heartwarming tale from The Witching Hour #47 (October 1974).

Little Rusty Boland is in a bit of a funk. His house has burned down, his parents have abandoned him, and most devastatingly, his faithful dog Happy has trotted off to Doggie Heaven.

Rusty perks up a bit when he spots what appears to be Happy's ghost wandering around the neighborhood. The poor kid follows the pooch into the local cemetary, where a (not entirely) shocking revelation awaits...

Wow! Who didn't see that coming?

Well, at least Happy is safe, right?

"That's right, kids! Not only will you die horribly and your spirit will walk the earth for all eternity, but your beloved pets will waste away and die from broken hearts! Sweet dreams, little ones!"

I know I'm feeling much happier now. How about you?

Danse Society - We're So Happy (from Gothic Rock, 1994) - It's a repost, yes, but of a very fine piece of 80's gothica that fits today's theme so perfectly that I couldn't resist.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 24 - nightmare virtuoso

From his studio lair hidden in the catacombs beneath the streets of Stockholm, the Phantom of the Pop Charts plots his next sinister move...

"Now that I've gotten Britney back in the Top 40, I shall commence work on my latest piece for Katy Perry! Revenge, sweet revenge will be mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Furyo - Opera in the Air (from the Furyo EP, 1984) - I haven't been shy about expressing my fondness for UK Decay, the Luton-based punk/postpunk outfit that helped launch the whole gothic rock phemomenon. Their dub-and-cobwebs classic, "Unexpected Guest." took the top slot in 2006's Halloween Countdown, and the band's For Madmen Only LP and Rising from the Dread EP make for perfect seasonal listening, be it Halloween, Christmas, or a summer holiday.

After the band's 1982 breakup, vocalist Steve "Abbo" Abbot, guitarist Steve Spon, and drummer Eddie Branch reunited as Furyo and attempted to recapture some of the old grand theatrical magic. Their efforts were less than successful -- and more than a little self-indulgent and silly --but did manage to deliver the goods in a few rare moments.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 16 - my dear the reaper

Stockard Channing was Bergman's first choice for The Seventh Seal.

I commend the Grim Reaper on her new look -- very fetching in a trailer-park chic kind of way. The large hoop earrings are a nice touch, as they offset the overwhelming aura of dread she normally radiates, though her bad perm does rule out the notion of dying with dignity.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Halloween Countdown: October 10 - drinking booze with the vampire

For those times when the Dark Thirst can not be slaked by the warm blood of the innocent, I give you...

I wasn't keen on the Tim Burton/Marilyn Manson remake of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane....

Not only is the vodka useful in taking the edge off an eternity of cursed unlife, the high alcohol content makes it an excellent embalming fluid.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

pretty spider for a white guy

Super Lumina failed state inspection last Friday because of a safety issue (for a busted indicator and quite possibly the retractable titanium steel ramming spike I mounted on the bumper). Normally this would be the type of thing I'd have fixed on the spot, but because I waited until the last minute, the mechanic didn't have the parts or time to take care of it. I had to settle for a rejection sticker and an appointment to bring it in for repairs and a retest this morning.

I originally picked this particular garage (back in 2001) because it located a couple blocks from where I was living at the time, which meant I could drop my car off, walk home, and goof off around the house until it was time to pick up and pay. They also happened to be honest, affordable, and extremely good at their work -- an extremely rare combination -- and I continued to go there even after I moved to the Woburn Highlands on the far southern edge of the city.

The previous drill of "drop off and walk home" was slightly adjusted to "walk to my grandma's house (my former residence), and beg a ride home and back." This time around, though, no ride was offered, and I was too self-conscious about my present Worst Grandson EverTM status (passively earned, just so no one gets the wrong idea about my particular flavor of crapulence) to ask for one. So I ended up spending most of the day in my grandma's living room and attic, digging out and reading comics from the dozen or so longboxes I've yet to bring up the House on the Hillside and drinking Dixie cup after Dixie cup of watery fruit punch.

Most of the stuff was from the 1990's and early 2000's, and I was amazed at how many comics I bought and continued buy even after any sane rationale for reading a title slipped away -- Peter David's coyly smug Captain Marvel relaunch, Erik Larsen's Defenders relaunch, Mark Millar's Authority run, Devin Grayson's Titans. Chalk it up to collector's inertia, a noxious habit I'm glad to have since kicked to the curb.

There were also some relatively entertaining things I purchased and subsequently forgot about due to the high volume of incoming crap, and these were how I passed the long hours of my captivity in the Land of Bleach and Doilies -- Garth Ennis's War Story comics and his Enemy Ace: War in Heaven miniseries, Planetary/Batman: Night on Earth, Avengers/JLA (a.k.a. JLA/Avengers) , and John Byrne's run(s) on Sensational She-Hulk.

It was the latter that provided the most enjoyment, not for the playful (if a bit heavy on the meta gags) romp through the Marvel Universe's z-list which made me miss the old, good John Byrne, but for this editorial page illustration from issue #41 (July 1992):


There is a transcendental cosmic truth to be found within its majesty, providing that one has the strength of will to embrace it without descending into existential madness.

Flesh For Lulu - Restless (from Flesh For Lulu, 1984) - "Gothic rock" is a rather subjective term.
Polysics - Making Sense (from Neu, 2003) - I think we're well past any chance of that happening. Better to just ride the Japanese noise rock whirwind and see where it leads us.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

the banality of sadism

A week or so back, the wife and I made one last trip to the local comics and used book store's basement "all for a dollar" room before its closure. As it was the last hurrah for the beloved place where we've bought hundreds of cheap vintage paperbacks over the years, we went a little crazy scooping up anything remotely of interest, be it genre classics, trashy potboilers, or even honest-to-snobbery literature.

I used the opportunity to buy a lot of books I ought to have read or owned but never gotten around to acquiring, as well as large number of works that fell within the "guilty pleasures" and "modest curiosity" categories (like Graham Masterton's Famine, a Mork and Mindy photonovel, and the novelization of Moon Zero Two). I also nabbed a copy of Splatter Punks, a 1990 anthology of "extreme horror" released by St. Martin's Press in 1990.

It was something I'd seen on the shelf during many a previous visit, but even the markdown from a fiver to a buck hadn't been enough to convince me to get off the fence...especially since the stories by the two authors I liked, Clive Barker and Joe R. Landsale, had been anthologized in other books I already owned. Considering this was my last chance to pick it up as an impulse purchase, though, I figured I might as well blow the four quarters and just buy the damn thing.

It turned out to be exactly what I expected -- not quite good, but not quite terrible either. I'm less than keen on the tendency to coin new subgenre by adding the "-punk" suffix. When "cyberpunk" was coined in the early 1980's it made an excellent descriptor for William Gibson's blend of street-level aesthetics and science-fiction. The problem was that once the designated subgenre was coined, a slew of imitators -- some good, most downright dire -- rushed in to create works that fit the form from creative inception. (I've toyed doing a series of posts titled "Bad Cyberpunk," but shelved the idea when I realized that I'd have to reread most of the works in the process.)

From that one seed a thousand subgenres (and microgenres) were born -- steampunk, cybergothic, Edwardian-punk, biopunk, postcyberpunk, ribofunk, and so forth -- in a process of marketing most fractal. Splatterpunk was one of the early adopters, coined in the mid-1980's in reference to the works of Clive Barker (and it always comes back to Barker) and other writers of "visceral," as opposed to "suggestive," horror fiction.

So what, you may be asking, does that really mean? According to "Outlaws", a manifesto written by Paul M. Sammon, editor of Splatter Punks:

Well...first remove the limits society and so-called good taste place on fiction. All the limits. Add a healthy dose of shock as well as the influence of schlock movies, late-night TV, and the screaming guitar licks of the world's greatest heavy-metal band.

Finally, stir in a strong awareness of of pop culture. Season with a no bullshit attitude. Serve up some of the best writing in the field today.
Oh, dear. He's not kidding about the lack of restraint, at least as it pertains to the hard sell hyperbole. The thing is, and Sammon even mentions this in his essay, that graphically violent horror fiction is hardly a new phenomenon, even by 1990 standards. Richard Matheson's Hell House, the works of Stephen King and James Herbert, and scores of potboliers penned in the 1970's made ample use of over-the-top sex and gore to spice things up. Clive Barker's Books of Blood weren't revolutionary for their luridness, but for the author's unique approach to the genre, which presents a mix of mythic and mundane akin to the South American "magical realist" school of fiction.

In the absence of a similar sense of creative vision, most of the stories in Splatter Punks resort to the twin banalities of popcult namedropping and casual brutality to propel the thinnest of narrative gruel. The marriage of high concepts and cheap thrills is a perfectly workable one, but it's not revolutionary, nor is it necessarily worthy of a distinct genre tag...apart from the marketability such a thing brings with it. The fact that many of the anthology's featured authors either flat out reject the splatterpunk label or treat it with noticible ambivalence is telling.

There's also a distinct defensive tone to the Sammon's advocacy, directed at the traditionalists then in nominal charge of the "scene" as well as toward the critics' concern about the misogynist subtext present in many of the works. Even a story like John Skipp's "Film at Eleven," presented as an rebuttal to those concerns, comes off as as rather disingenuous, a spin on The Burning Bed that manages to undermine its own message for the sake of some predictable shock value.

Joe R. Lansdale's "The Night They Missed the Horror Show" does a far better job at balancing social awareness and graphic violence -- imagine To Kill a Mockingbird directed by George Romero -- but Lansdale is one of the author's who refused to self-identify with the splatterpunk label. Douglas E. Winters's "Less Than Zombie" purports to send up the morally apathetic protagonists of Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than Zero, but the end results read less like pointed satire than a straight excerpt from the hundred or so pages cut from the final draft of Ellis's novel.

Overheated boasts about relevance and transgressive power aside, it takes more than a meticulously detailed description of stabbing or scatalogically-vivid purple prose to legitimately break genre boundaries in a manner that doesn't reek adolescent posturing.

Rubicon - Watch Without Pain (from What Starts, Ends, 1992) - Acceptable, if not especially inspired, gothic rock with ties to the far superior Fields of the Nephilim.

My Bloody Valentine - Only Shallow (from Loveless, 1991) - Yet deep enough to submerge the Himalayas....

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

the bitter redemption of an atypical fat cat

The sedentary comforts of the suburban lifestyle can take their toll on even the most ferocious predatory feline. Sure, it would be great if one could routinely stalk a wild boar and feast upon its steaming carcass, but after a long day of fighting elitist snobs or seeking out the bluebird of happiness, sometimes all one wants to do is order an extra large bacon-fetishists' pizza with a side of cheesy bread and pass out on the couch while watching a Tom Ewell retrospective on TCM.

Even if the nagging feelings that one ought to be taking better care of one's body persist, it's easy enough to resolve such concerns with a weak resolution to do a few ab crunches or take down a bull crocodile...tomorrow...for sure...maybe...once those few remaing Halo 3 achievements have been completed.

The comes a point, however, when the sad truth can no longer be ignored...

No need to fret about that spare tire (or matching set of four) or open up an account at The Fat Tiger's Shoppe, my rotund feline friend! Just place a call to the World's Mightiest Personal Trainer! Captain Marvel, the man who once bench-pressed South America, has created an intensive regimen guaranteed to transform oversized Toms into lean, mean, killing machines.

The week long course begins with copious amounts of low-grade amphetamines, purchased in bulk from Marvel's trusted suppliers in the Third World...

Side effects may include constipation, hallucinatory spiders crawling under one's skin, and a nude high-speed police chase across three state lines.

...followed by a long, intense session on Cap's personal vibrator.

To ensure complete satisfaction, Marvel tests each device personally.

Next up on the schedule comes the nutritional consultation, with plenty of emotional cruelty "tough love" on the menu...

Cap then visited a cancer ward and brushed his thick, luscious locks in front of the radiation therapy patients.

...and that approach is carried over into the gym, where what does not kill you could very likely cripple you for life.

It's great exercise for shedding those extra pounds, blood, and teeth...

And what better way to finish things off than with one of Captain Marvel's patented Bad TouchTM massages?

Now accepting appointments for couples sessions!

Once the week is over, the bruises have healed and the bones have knitted together, you'll emerge from the experience feeling, and more importantly, looking like a television star!

"Hey, kids! Stay tuned for Uncle Pork Rind's High-Cholesterol Cartoon Hour, brought to you by the Fawcett Lard and Tallow Company."

(Panels taken from "Mr. Tawny's Diet Dangers" from Captain Marvel Adventures #121; June 1951)

Au Pairs - Diet (from the b-side of the 1980 "It's Obvious" 7"; collected on Stepping out of Line: The Anthology, 2006) - Sparse, unsettling fare, yet incredibly satisfying for those with refined palates.

Southern Death Cult - Fatman (from Southern Death Cult, 1983) - These gothic rockers shed two thirds of their name (and almost the entire original lineup) in order to woo a "Fire Woman."

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Albums That Meant Something - Part 4 - Dying to Be Written

(from Skeleton Key, Volume 3: Telling Tales, by Andi Watson)

While I never self-identified as a goth back in the embarrassing old days, I did listen to and purchase quite a bit of "goth" music. By the time my twenty-first birthday rolled around, I had already started to evolve past my punk rock persona phase, as the stock set of subcultural trappings felt less like sincere act of rebellion and more like a cul-de-sac of clichés. Musically, too, my tastes had begun to shift from the aggro to the atmospheric -- postpunk, synthpop & wave, anarchopunk stuff mostly.

It was a period when I revisited a lot of previously acquired material that had been filed at the back of my collection when it failed to pass my punk puritan criteria -- a sequence of small epiphanies which collectively added up to a paradigm shift in my listening habits. Even albums I'd liked well enough before, such as Unknown Pleasures and Entertainment, fairly well blindsided me with sublime charm that until then I'd been oblivious to.

So it was with UK Decay. My love of "For My Country," the Luton band's epic and artsy contribution to the Punk and Disorderly compilation, led me to pick up a copy of the "Unexpected Guest" single, whose spookshow subject matter, operatic vocals, and dub-influenced basslines was utterly lost on my ignorant Cock Sparrer-listening self. I passed the single onto a friend, only to ask for it back a couple years later after I'd smartened up...and this time around it sounded like the greatest thing I'd ever heard.

A short while later, Maura and I were flipping through the bins at the Tower Records store in Harvard Square. While the store's prices ran on the high side compared to other shops (which I suspect is the real reason -- not p2p applications -- that the chain eventually went belly up), it did have an section dedicated to indie and import releases. The usual ritual for the import CD stock involved being marked up to extortionate prices for a few months before inevitably being dumped unsold in a discount bin at the end of the aisle...which is where I found the subject of today's post.

It's the original 1992 release of the companion compilation disc to Mick Mercer's Gothic Rock encyclopedia. It was purchased for a fiver on the basis of having an otherwise unobtainable (for me, at least) UK Decay track culled from the band's amazing Rising From the Dread EP, but it also introduced me to (or washed away the taint of negative personal associations from) a half-dozen or so other acts that would loom large in my listening and purchasing habits into the present day; bands like Alien Sex Fiend, Southern Death Cult, Sex Gang Children, and Danse Society that, unlike the guitar rock sound that the gothic rock genre eventually coalesced into, took their cues from punk/postpunk and and ran in a host of strange, dark and quite often playful directions.

Much like Mercer's book (purchased after it got an American release), the Gothic Rock compilation does an excellent job at fostering an appreciation for the scene, music, and participants that doesn't attempt to gloss over the silly and/or pretentious aspects therein. The compilation was eventually given an American release, padded with extra tracks and eventually expanded into a multi-volume set, but I've never felt the need to upgrade from the original. That's partially due to sentimental reasons, but also because I've gotten past the place where I need such roadmaps.

UK Decay - Testament - By all rights, it should topple over the precipice into pretentious self-parody, yet it somehow manages to retain a precarious balance that gives gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it.

Sex Gang Children - Dieche - Fuck you, AFI, and the My Chemical Romance you rode in on, too.

Monday, June 23, 2008

lovelockean combat

Years before the Odinson mixed it up with Ego the Living Planet or the Autobots struggled against Unicron's Orsonwellesian might, the Big Red Cheese found himself going mano-a-planeto with a sentient planetary body which may be familiar to most of you...


"Captain Marvel Battles the World" (from Captain Marvel Adventures #148, September 1953; by Otto Binder & C.C. Beck) is narrated by Earth itself. (For some reason I imagine Earth sounding just like Sterling Holloway.) After a quick introduction guaranteed to outrage the creationist crowd...

Teach the controversy!

...the third planet from the sun outlines its grievances with the rapacious parasites that infest its crust:

YEAH!

In retaliation against those who have ravaged and plundered and ripped it and bit it, stuck it with knives, et cetera, et cetera, the Earth plays some meteorological hardball...

President McCain's environmental policy in action.

Forget carbon emissions and CFCs, the real "inconvenient truth" is that the Earth hates the human race...which is why it is our solemn duty to beat the planet into submission for the sake of corporate profits humanity.

Earth's global warming gambit is foiled by Captain Marvel, who evaporates an ice meteor in the upper atmosphere in order to restore Earth's cloud cover (while worsening the greenhouse effect, providing a catalyst for massive tropical storms, and causing massive coastal flooding. Eh, it happens).

Not the type of heavenly body to be put off by a minor setback, Earth attempts to shatter the cities and works of man by slamming a couple of glaciers together with tremedous force, sending destructive shockwaves across the face of the globe. This plan also fails due to Marvel's intervention, which takes the form of a giant felt suppository crammed up the Earth's south pole.

Captain Marvel: Glacial Proctologist

This indignity only serves to further fan the flames of Earth's anger, and in its rage unleash a cataclysm on a continental scale of improbability...

The elation upon finishing the Panama Canal was short-lived.

...which might have worked, except for the fact that wild implausibility is the coin of Marvel's realm and the basis for all transactions conducted therein. Unprecedented devastation unleashed by a rogue continent set adrift? Big deal. It's nothing that can't be fixed with some glue and a little elbow grease...

"It's a shame about the Falklands being obliterated, but no one but the Brits, Argentines, and some puffins gave a rat's ass about them, anyhow."

Realizing that half-measures will not do when faced with the World's Mightiest Mortal, Earth decides to pull out all the stops and simultaneously unleash the entire gamut of global catastrophe in order to put an end to its human infestation problem. Before the fireworks can commence, however, a renegade comet crashes the festivities and threatens to pulverize the poor Earth.

Fortunately for the hapless planet, Marvel isn't the type of guy to hold a grudge, and applies a little Atomic Age know-how (long on infatuation, short on realizing the consequences) to save the day...

Anti-nuke activists are just a bunch of killer comet-loving hippies.

The comet is destroyed (with only a 10,000% increase in global cancer rates following Earth's passage through the plutonium-laced debris cloud; Marvel is a strict utilitarian), and a chastened Earth is treated to a sanctimonious lecture by the Moon, who, it should be pointed out, lobbied hard for restricted community status after the Apollo 11 landing. "I do think humans are cute; I just think they should be cute somewhere else."

"Besides, what do they have -- another century or two left before the species offs itself? I can wait it out."

1919 - Earth Song (from a 1984 EP; collected on The Complete Collection, 2001) - Crunchy goth fare reminiscent of Killing Joke's punkier stuff. Comrade Highlander posted a rip of the entire EP a few months back, and while the hard copy of the collection is currently out of stock, the mp3 version can be downloaded from either Amazon or eMusic.

Blue Cheer - Ecological Blues (from Oh! Pleasant Hope, 1971) - Blue Cheer's heavy-duty blues-rock sound (and their cover of "Summertime Blues" on 1968's Vincebus Eruptum LP in particular) are frequently cited as one of the seminal influences on the heavy metal genre. While it's a valid observation, it does overstate things (as most proto-genre assertions tend to do) and overlooks the bizarro-psych side of the band as represented by this head-scratcher of a musical timepiece.

The Gun Club - Eskimo Blue Day (from Pastoral Hide and Seek, 1990) - ...and occupying the genre shadowlands between today's offerings from 1919 and Blue Cheer comes this swamp-punk-blues cover of one of Jefferson Airplane's better efforts (as opposed to the two tracks by the band that get heavily played on classic rock and oldies format radio).

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

no ice in your lovers walk

This is supposed to by the final day of the heat wave that has engulfed the northeast in its suffocating blanket of haze and humidity, but part of being a Bay Stater born and bred is learning to take what the meteorologists say with a fifty-pound bag of salt. New England weather admits no master, and takes a preternatural joy in confounding expectations. I won't believe we've managed to wiggle out of the Devil's Armpit until I actually see the barometer drop and the feel the cool breeze on my face.

Whenever the temperatures begin to spike 'round these parts, I find myself thinking back to the scorching summer of 1993, back when I used to work the Saturday shift at the college library. Apart from the intrinsic lousiness of having to get up early on a Saturday, it was excellent work -- a 9-to-5 shift in an air conditioned building at a commuter school during intersession.

I worked the circulation desk and the number of patrons I had to deal with during a given shift could be counted on the fingers of both my hands and two of the toes on my right foot, and all phone inquiries answered with one of three standardized responses:

1. No, this isn't the Boston Public Library.
2. No, this isn't Boston University.
3. No, this isn't Puritan Pizza.

The rest of my my time was spent doing some light shelving, surprising the occasional mastubator during a floor sweep, and reading stacks of books and periodicals on whatever subject currently had my fancy. I'm not exaggerating when I state that the bulk of what I learned in college came from my at-work reading. The amount of time I had to kill, combined with a half-dozen floors packed with available reading material, allowed me range far and wide subject-wise with minimal distractions.

History (cultural, social, military), sociology, film studies, art, literature of all stripes, biology, astronomy -- all there for the studying, with no pesky tests or essays to harsh the learning buzz. Plus, sitting under a tree and reading The Stranger and The Plague during a lunch break in triple-digit temperatures really adds to Camus's Algerian je ne sais quoi in a way that can't be imitated in a classroom environment.

(I'm not knocking formal pedagogical methods, as there are certain things, like critical thinking methods, that benefit from the insight and guidance of a skilled second party. The problem is that too many of my college classes were more about gaming the instructor's system than about the actual transfer of knowledge.)

Some of the books I spent the most time with were grabbed from the reference section, which was blessed with an oversized encyclopedia of international horror films, an annotated bibliography on nuclear war fiction, bound volumes of film reviews from 1981-83, and (astoundingly) a copy of the Who's New Wave in Music directory. Taken together, they form an excellent snapshot of my predominant interests circa 1993.

After my shift ended, I'd walk to the bus platform in the late afternoon sun and catch the shuttle to the JFK/UMass Red Line station. From there, I'd take a northbound train to (the pre-gentrified) Central Square, and hike up Mass Ave to Harvard Square on foot, stopping at the various used record stores along the way.

Though I had fallen away from buying vinyl at that point (thanks to Maura's birthday present of a CD player and the emerging flood of CD-only imports and reissues), old habits die hard. There were still plenty of deals to be had on albums that either had missed the reissue bandwagon or weren't worth spending fifteen bucks for the CD version (as opposed to two bucks for a used LP).

My musical tastes were also in flux, gravitating away from punk/hardcore/industrial exclusivity and towards the pop, wave, and postpunk (and by extension, gothic) end of the spectrum. Flipping through my record collection, it's easy to notice the split -- from Sham 69 and company to The Lexicon of Love to Sex Gang Children in a few short steps -- even if I can't remember the specific instances of purchase. (In hindsight, I wish I bought a lot more records than I did.)

When I was done dilly-dallying over yesterday's musical castoffs, I would trek up Mt. Auburn Street to meet Maura at the cafe she waitressed at, where I'd swig discounted Italian sodas and lounge in the Cantabridgian twilight as I waited for her shift to end. From there, another short jaunt on the Red Line and a longer one on the ever-unreliable 96 bus would bring us back to her place, where we'd spend the rest of the evening watching The Kids in the Hall and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Comedy Central while her rabbits ran riot around the room.

Good times, indeed.

Here's a mini-sampler taken from the aforementioned albums I purchased and listened to back in those days:

INXS - The One Thing (from Shabooh Shoobah, 1982) - A case of partner-to-partner musical osmosis. She taught me to appreciate INXS, I taught her to appreciate the Abrasive Wheels.

Bauhaus - Dancing (from Mask, 1981) - Spasmodically gyrating around the borderlands of postpunk, pop and perentiousness.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

installed to cop


Boston really never had much in the way of a homegrown gothic music scene, which is pretty surprising considering the city's historical atmosphere, architecture, and abundance of "spooky" locales. Salem's pagan Mecca is just a short hop up Route 1 from the city proper, and the Halloween season around these parts is absolutely note-perfect, a time when chill October winds make the fallen leaves caper and dance around the crumbling headstones of colonial burial grounds under the glow of a swollen harvest moon.

While the region's inherent spooktacular qualities would seem like a more fertile ground for a local goth scene to take root in than Los Angeles' surf, sun, and subdivisions, it never managed to happen. There was a small handful of bands clustered around the BDSM-themed multimedia hijinks of Sleep Chamber (who as a band, made an okay performance art troupe), but they made little if any impact outside their small circle. It wasn't until the early 90's that Sleep Chamber, in a symbiotic relationship with the goth-friendly (but not goth-exclusive) dance venue Man Ray, evolved into a minor cult sensation, but by that time the band's sound had drifted into then-popular industrial-dance music realm.

That's not to say that Greater Boston didn't have its share of goth devotees in the early-to-mid-1980's, but most of the crowd (the younger ones, especially) tended to exist as a subset of the larger punk milieu. As my wife, who was a punk rocker at the time put it, "the pretty punks became goths." In music, as with fashion, the barriers between the non-hardcore punk and goth sets blurred, with the fans getting their darkly iridescent music fixes from the UK's thriving gothic rock scene. Not surprising considering that, with the exception of LA's roster of "deathrock" acts, very few American bands copped onto the early 80's goth sound, and the few who did tended to be, well, uninspired.

Which brings us to the matter of Holy Cow, who were one of the aforementioned local gothic rock outfits in Sleep Chamber's orbit. Maura caught them live, as the opening act Specimen, back in her teenage years, and despised them, mostly due to the absurd onstage antics of their frontman. (Apparently he had an excessive fondness for leaping around and mugging for the audience, to the point where Maura was worried he was going to reach out and grab her eyeglasses from her face.) As a result, "Holy Cow" became a shorthand reference for a terrible performance, and a mention of the band's name would bring an elicit an reflexive "Oh, Gawd..." from the lovely lass (as it did this morning when I told her what I planned to write about today).

I'm not ashamed to confess that when it comes to the differences in taste between Maura and myself there is a point where I willingly cede matters to my personal imp of the perverse. My appreciation for certain bands or songs is heightened (Bowie's "Drive-In Saturday," Lord Sitar) or in some cases entirely predicated (Shampoo) or anticipating my wife's disgusted reaction when they crop up on the Zune's playlist during a commute home from work.

(I see it as a way to defuse incidental tensions in a non-belligerent manner, thus maintaining our usually harmonious relationship. Maura may see it differently. In fact, when it comes to Shampoo, I know she does.)

And so, when I came across a copy of Call It What You Will, Holy Cow's 1986 debut album, in the "Misc. H" bin at Second Coming Records back in the summer of 1993, I knew I had to buy it. Having only listened to it in the safety of my own personal space, with no risk of harm to my spectacles, I have to say it's really not that bad. It's simply redundant.

From the vocalist's blatant Peter Murphy impersonation to the obligatory dub-derived sonic effects, Call It What You Will makes no attempt to conceal the band's attempt to ape Bauhaus circa 1980. While I think In The Flat Field was and is a fantastic record, I really can't see the point of making a blurry mimeograph of the album half a decade after the fact.

It doesn't help that Holy Cow chose to fully embrace the genre tropes that were still in gestation when Bauhaus recorded their debut album six years prior. Good goth music tends to either walk a fine line between atmosphere and pretense (Bauhaus, UK Decay), or embrace the sillier aspects of the subject matter in a tongue in cheek fashion (Specimen, Alien Sex Fiend). Screw with the balance and there's a high risk of devolving -- no matter how strong the material may otherwise be -- into caricature, unintentional self-parody, or even worse, the po-faced absurdity associated with the death metal scene.

Remember: A little bit of the macabre goes a long way, and there are better way to honor one's heroes than to dress up in their natty old clothes.

From Call It What You Will:

Holy Cow - Ichorous Pus

Holy Cow - Lady Cadava

(For the record, this is the first post in which I made use of my USB turntable. It only took me four months to set it up, which is a new record time for my achieving a stated goal.)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

it felt like we'd been here


Being the only licensed driver in house, I'm the one who provides transportation to and from Boston Derby Dames bouts on those occasions when Maura decides to go stag. The matches are held at the Shriners' Auditorum in Wilmington (a.k.a. "The Land of Nod"), not far at all from my old North Woburn stomping grounds.

In the summer, making the long ride down Fordham Road to the venue with Super Lumina's windows rolled down, it hard not to notice a certain aroma -- a melange of evergreen, scrub foliage, and diesel scents -- wafting in the late afternoon breeze. It's the smell of my childhood.

I lived in North Woburn until the fall of 1984, when my family left our first floor apartment on the corner of Merrimac and Dartmouth Street and moved into the other side of my maternal grandparents' duplex in Woburn Center. I think about the old neighborhood surprisingly often, though my visits (or rather "pass-throughs," as there's no reason to stop and get out of the car these days) have gotten more and more infrequent. The landscape has changed too much since the early 1980's, and the dissonance between "what was" and "what is" is the stuff of fever dreams -- ghosts of eradicated landmarks superimpose themselves over the upstart subdivisions and McMansions that now occupy their previous spaces.

But then Woburn, especially the part of the city north of I-95 and west of I-93, has been a developmental palimpsest as far back as I can remember. That was what made it such a fascinating place in which to spend one's childhood. Despite the push towards modern office parks as upscale replacements for the tanneries and chemical plants, the the scars and mouldering remains of the old industries remained -- crumbling foundations and discarded machinery half concealed under nature's attempts to reclaim the open spaces.

"Down Back," the tract of land stretching from NELCO (New England Leadburning Company, founded by my great-great-grandfather) to the edge of the city dump was a playground beyond compare, criss-crossed with the BMX-friendly remains of pulled up train tracks and chock-full of piles of illegally discarded junk. A ten-year old with more curiosity than sense (and, hopefully, an up-to-date tetanus vaccination) could unearth all kinds of treasures from the refuse, from animal skulls to a collection of turn-of-the-century postcards to creased and weatherbeaten porn mags to all sorts of things construct a hastily made go-kart with before sending it careening down Chester Avenue. One of the more disturbing finds my crew made was several sacks of arsenic, dumped by the side of the path so as to return that ultra-toxic goodness back to the soil, I suppose. Or because some lazy cheap fuck couldn't be bothered to dispose of it properly.

Coexisting with this graveyard of industry past were many rustic elements. A couple of the residents (including my paternal grandparents, and later, my aunt) at the far end of the neighborhood had horse stables, chicken coops, and even the occasional goat on their land. Though only a short ten miles from downtown Boston, North Woburn was on the far edge of the suburban fringe (which has since spilled northward over the I-95 boundary, brushing up against and even crossing the New Hampshire border. Check the tags on southbound vehicles on any given morning commute, and you'll see what I mean). While not as honky-tonk as, say, Billerica or Tewksbury was at the time, there was a certain blue-collar ethnic hillbilly character to the neighborhood, though fading fast even back then under the influence of newer arrivals but still manifested though the occasional buckshot-perforated stop sign or raccoon pelt nailed to a tree for drying.

As a kid, I wasn't really aware of the neighborhood's unique atmosphere. In fact, I was thrilled when my family moved as it put me within closer range of the places that sold comics, music, and other items of adolescent importance. Now that I'm older, and last traces of its identity have given way to a sedate aura of suburbanity, I find myself reflecting about how lucky I was to have had such a place to spend my formative years in, full of wide open spaces with maximum potential for childhood hijinx and where nine-year old kids could frolic free of adult supervision through industrial ruins.

Yeah, I know. Everyone feels nostalgic about their childhood haunts and thinks that they were something special and rare.

Mine really was, though.

Skeletal Family - Promised Land (from a 1985 single; collected on The Best of the Skeletal Family, 2001) - Not really a chant, and I'm clear on their ever-circling credentials, but it's a lovely bit of gothic rock from a time before the the genre devolved into mall-rats with black hoodies and Trent Reznor fixations.

Monday, November 12, 2007

choking on the dirt and sand


I spent my holiday engaged in a lopsided battle to root out the forces of entropy from their subterranean lair, or in less florid terms, "I cleaned the basement." It's a project I had been meaning (however reluctantly) to tackle for some time now, though a stream of convenient distractions (read: videogames and weak excuses) made it possible to postpone the inevitable longer than I ever dreamed possible.

My idle leisure's stay of execution ended last Thursday, however, when a representative from the natural gas company came knocking at my front door in order to inform me that our meter was past due for replacement and that they'd send a crew to the house on Wednesday to install a new one. While I've long since resigned myself to having a disgracefully messy cellar, I was not comfortable with sharing knowledge of its present state with outsiders. Being a member of civil society means that there are standards which must be observed, and one doesn't allow just anyone to bear witness to the large pile of soda cans that have fallen out of the recycling bin (sometime back in 2005, but the intent to redeem them was there, honest) or the haphazard jumble of boxes that once contained various household appliances...and the replacements for those appliances...and the replacements for the replacements.

I set aside this, the last day of my long weekend (because there is nothing so important that it cannot be deferred till the last minute), to impose a degree of order upon the chaos borne of complacency. It was surprisingly easy going. At least, it was until I broke out the push broom, and generated a cloud of airborne debris with my sweeping that rivaled the output of a major pyroclastic event. My glasses, my clothes, the hair, my bronchial passages quickly became coated in a layer of thick gray layer of dust that no amount of deep soaking seems to be able to dislodge completely.

And so, while I head off to the bathroom to attempt to expectorate a few more chunks of phlegm-crete, I offer you these fine particulate-themed tracks for your musical enjoyment. (Breath masks optional, though strongly recommended.)

Siouxsie & The Banshees - Cities in Dust (from Tinderbox, 1986) - Where the band and I parted ways. They did release a few minor gems after this Vesuvial masterpiece, but -- much like The Cure did around the same time -- seemed to increasingly play toward the public's flawed perceptions of the band's image, and that's a one way road to embarrassment.

Mazzy Star - Into Dust (from So Tonight I Might See, 1993) - The dark dreaminess of a Nyquil-triggered haze distilled into musical form, and I mean that as a compliment, really.

The Chemical Brothers - In Dust We Trust (from Exit Planet Dust, 1995) - Your volume do not adjust, though your hair may get mussed. Instead moves you should bust, to the beats of electro lust. (This concludes today's test of my readership alienation experiment.)

Monday, October 22, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 22 – the flavor of the beast

For several millennia, humankind has labored to grasp what the real nature of evil truly is. Is it an abstract, relative concept? Or a concrete and absolute force? Is it embodied by a big, red guy with cloven hooves and a pitchfork? Or, as I and many others have come to believe, does its physical manifestation come in the form of the vile weed known as cilantro?

While the theologians, philosophers, and gourmands of the world attempt to hash out details of this thorny debate, filmmaker John Carpenter has offered his only theory about the nature of evil. As detailed in 1987's damp squib of a horror movie, Prince of Darkness, Carpenter posits that evil is actually a couple dozen gallons of swirling green goop shakily contained inside the bastard child of a water cooler and a lava lamp.


Last night, I sat in on my wife's annual viewing of Prince of Darkness (as part of her Halloween season movie-watching marathon). It had been a while since I'd seen the film in its entirety, and while I didn't think it has aged well compared to my memories of past viewings, it was still an enjoyable experience. It's not a great (or even a "really good") movie, but it is John Carpenter working his familiar "spooky Alamo" trope with some interesting cosmic horror elements tossed into the mix. Unfortunately, it's those latter elements, used in contrast with more traditional film scare tactics, that ultimately derail Prince of Darkness.

Cosmic horror, dealing with epic concepts and existential terrors, is a difficult genre to translate to film because the visceral, immediate "gotcha" moments that are the trademark of Hollywood spookshows matter less than the the tonal slow burn of mounting dread, fueled by revelatory exposition and a sense of the unspoken, terrible answer looming at the periphery. Even the grandmaster of the cosmic horror genre, H. P. Lovecraft, was not immune to falling back upon less subtle spookwork in his stories. (The shoggoth chase in "At the Mountains of Madness," for example.)

The exposition-heavy set-ups required by the cosmic genre tend to work better on paper, where it's easier to pass off "non-euclidean angles" and "colors outside the earthly spectrum" without having to fall into the Helen of Troy trap (that is, the problem of visually depicting the indescribable). What all this fancy talk means in terms of Prince of Darkness is that the movie plays out as a lumpy stew where the characters attempt (and fail, mostly) to couch Christian theology in terms of quantum physics while fending off hordes of the demonically possessed.

Imagine a version of Resident Evil where the characters stop to recite passages from Richard Feynman's work every ten minutes or so, and you've pretty much got the idea. It's a shame, because the ideas being bandied out in the movie are quite fascinating, despite the confusing and haphazard way in which they're presented.

The film does have a number of unsettling moments sprinkled amidst the confusion, and features appearances by several Carpenter regulars, as well as a scene featuring Alice Cooper impaling a man with a bicycle. For sheer terrifying power, however, nothing in the film tops leading man Jameson (Simon & Simon) Parker's aggressively disturbing blonde mustache. (Between that, his Ken doll hairstyle, and his compeltely hairless chest, I found myself referring to his character simply as "Chad Pornstar" when discussing the film with my wife afterwards.)

Gaze upon the facial fuzz of evil, and despair!

Here we have the theme from Prince of Darkness, along with an excellent gothic-tinged cover -- courtesy of AT fave Blood and Roses -- of the best film theme the multi-talented Mr. Carpenter ever composed:

John Carpenter - Prince of Darkness (from The Essential John Carpenter, 2002)

Blood and Roses - Escape from Precinct 13 (from Enough Is Never Enough, 1985; collected on Same as It Never Was, 2007)

(Finally, if any of my readers happen to know the exact location of the church where the film was shot, please leave a comment or drop me a line. My wife is dying to know The church is now the Union Center for the Arts in Little Tokyo, not too far from City Hall. The interior shots were done at a studio in Valencia.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 17 – you just painted me green

Found while perusing a copy of Swing With Scooter #31 (November 1970):
Dig the ad copy, which was apparently written by an acolyte of E.H. Bronner:

MORE! MORE! Owwwwww!

I admit that convincing the youth demographic about the virtues of owning a scale replica of Jonathan Frid would be something of an uphill battle, no matter how cold, clammy, or flexible said replicas may be. Still, the ad functions not so much an enticement to buy the product as a desperate warning to the unwary.

Either that, or a transcript of most disturbing in situ coital talk ever spoken.

The Damned - Grimly Fiendish (from Phantasmagoria, 1985) - Maybe when this countdown is over, I'll get around to discussing the memory hole and capricious revisionism as it pertains to music and popcult criticism. For now, I'm just going to state that my affection for Phantasmagoria has remained constant against the shifting tides of critical assessment.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 8 – you've got to pick up every stitch

Today we have an excerpt from "The Diabolist Method of Classroom Discipline in Practice: An Illustrated Case Study" by M.F. Stopheles. Ed.D; from Parapsychological Theories in Education, Autumn 1972 issue) :

Step 1: Diagnose the source of disorder.

Step 2: Consult the writings of the thrice-damned rulers of the netherworld in framing a suitable response. Remember to follow standard safety protocols -- protective goggles, warding circles, Satanic apron -- while conducting your forbidden rites.

Step 3: Administer the means of unholy retribution. It is vital that you remember that this method of discipline works best if your students are unaware that you are practicing it. While a viridian bolt of flesh-searing eldritch energy lobbed in the direction of a habitual note-passer will make a dramatic impression on your charges, it may very well create more problems than it solves.

Providing that you've properly phrased your demonic pacts, and followed the instructions in the arcane codices to the letter (or "rune," depending on the text), the results should not be long in coming:

Of course, proportionality is key, though standards of acceptable discipline may vary from district to district. (Ironically, the more religiously devout a community is, the greater its tolerance for harsh punishments, as long as one remains circumspect about the source of one's power.)

Generally speaking, however, you will find that successful results will speak for themselves, especially in today's cultural and political climate.

(Images taken from "Assignment in Fear" from Chilling Adventures in Sorcery as Told by Sabrina #1; September, 1972 -- a comic that dares to answer the question "What would an issue of EC's Vault of Horror look like if it was drawn in the Archie house style?" The answer is "pretty effing bizarre.")

Donovan - Season of the Witch (from Sunshine Superman, 1966) - Do you think Plant, Page, and Company were big fans of this track? Compare the first minute or so of "Season of the Witch" to that of "Ramble On," and you'll see what I mean.

(Edit: As aTom Ten pointed out in the comments, future Led Zeppelin members John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page were involved in the recording of the song, which would explain the similarities. The AMG write-up on the song has all the details. And thus I have come one step closer in my quest for the Unified Field Theory of Classic Rock. Jeff Lynne is the key to unlocking it, I just know it.)

Specimen - Hex (from Wet Warm Cling-Film Red Velvet Crush, 1997) - A delightful bit 80's goth pop, despite the fact that the song's title reminds me of my inability to locate a copy of this much sought-after cinematic oddity. A supernatural-themed biker/western flick set in the immediate post-World War I period? I must see this film.

Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I Put a Spell on You (from I Put a Spell on You, 1958) - And so great is its power, there shall be no saving throws for half damage.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 7 – by the dark river's side

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...


...Riverdale High's goth population. A more clean-cut and wholesome coven of children of the night you'd be hard pressed to find.

I'm not really seeing a "clique," so much as two Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts who've purchased black trenchcoats at the local Kohl's in order to impress that one girl in the drama club. You know, the one who swiped her older sister's Best of Bauhaus CD and who writes angsty poetry about how hard it is to find a decent vintage clothing store or a place that sells clove cigarettes in the wasteland of well-heeled suburbia?

Okay, so maybe it is an accurate representation of the American goth subculture, apart from the utter absence of body piercings...

Blue Orchids - Sugar, Sugar (from Mystic Bud, 2004) - A darker shade of bubblegum, kind of like Black Jack, I guess.

Flesh for Lulu - Subterraneans (from Flesh for Lulu, 1984) - "The cruelest camouflage" referring to wearing a black crushed velvet longcoat, knee-high leather boots, and a quart of industrial white pancake makeup during the middle of August in a sunbelt subdivision.

On a non-snide bastard note, it's interesting how many 80's college radio staple acts from the U.K. started off with goth affiliations, only to vehemently repudiate the tag once they "made it."

(A special thanks to Chris Sims for bringing the Rivergoths to my attention.)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Halloween Countdown: October 3 – a little bit typhus, a little bit bubonic

In 1954, faced with the unstoppable tag-team of child psychologist Frederick Wertham and Tennessee senator C. Estes "Yes, I know what my middle name rhymes with" Kefauver, the comic book industry established the Comics Code Authority. Intended to preempt any possible outside action against the industry, the CCA acted as an inside, though (arguably) independent arbiter of "acceptable" comics content.

Under the CCA's new rules, the burgeoning crime and horror genres were especially singled out for their graphic and lurid content, which effectively killed the the former genre and reduced the latter to a pale shell of what it had evolved into in the hands of EC Comics' stable of creators. Even after the restrictions on horror-themed comics were eased in the early 1970's, the stories appearing in anthology "suspense" titles remained stuck in a derivative rut, heavily relying on subpar twist endings copped from the Twilight Zone.

In the mid-1970's, ABC president Fred "Yes, I greenlit Supertrain" Silverman okayed the creation of a variety show starring the squeaky-clean popstar siblings, Donny and Marie Osmond. The Sid and Marty Krofft-produced effort (though the Osmonds would seize control of the venture the following year) debuted in the January of 1976, and set new high water marks in trippy excess, hosed-on glitter, and excruciatingly bland covers of current hits and classic pop standards.

From these two seemingly unconnected events comes the focus of today's Halloween offering, "The Curse of Ozzie and Mary" from issue #194 of DC's The Unexpected (cover date December 1979).

Donnie and Ma... I mean "Ozzie and Mary" are America's sweethearts, thrilling millions of viewers each week with their playful comedic banter and syrupy pop confections...

Is that the extended mix of "I'm My Own Grandpa"?

...but there's a much different story happening behind the scenes, as the overheated narration explains at great length...
The "Mormon Noir" genre never really caught on..

The feud between the siblings reaches a new level when Ozzie contracts the services of an EVIL special effects artist in order to score some onscreen payback against Mary...
"I came to you because the foley artist's asking price was too high, and the key grip's methods lack...subtlety..."

Cut to the next day of taping, and Ozzie is thrilled with anticipation, though, again, not as much as the tale's narrator seems to be. (The dude ought to switch to decaf.)

What, no Ruth Buzzi?

Under the glare of the klieg lights, a startling transformation begins...

"CUT! CUT! CUT! The musical tribute to the bubonic plague was planned for next week's show!"

But don't hire the strippers for the victory celebration just yet, Ozzie, because...
"Dammit, I knew there was a reason the craft services food started to seem appetizing to me!"

And if that wasn't enough ersatz irony for you...

That's one advantage to hiring EVIL special effects people. They really believe in the concept of "value added".

So, what is the moral of the story here? If you're a member of a dueling duo of wholesome sibling popstars, do not contract the services of a mysterious makeup artist as a means of punishing your rival, lest you be turned into a rat-human hybrid?

Message received and understood, then.

Rasputina - Rats (from Cabin Fever, 2002) - Rasputina is something of a small scale phenomenon among the local goth-and-related-subculture crowd around these parts, but honestly, they're not really my kind of thing (and the same applies for nearly all "gothic" music recorded after 1988 or so). Maura has attended a couple of their shows and thinks the band is "all right," though she's closer to the target audience than I'll ever be.

Xmal Deutschland - Boomerang (from Fetisch, 1983) - Now this is more like it -- skitteringly bleak Teutonic postpunk with female vocals.