This Korg Poly-61 kills fascists! New wavers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your oversized shoulder pads!
Re-Flex - The Politics of Dancing (from The Politics of Dancing, 1983) - Are you now doing, or have you ever done, the hokey-pokey? I have in my hand a list of 57 highly-placed individuals who have put their left feet in and shaken them all about.
Duran Duran - New Moon on Monday (from Seven and the Ragged Tiger, 1983) - So the moral of the video is that the 1956 Hungarian Revolution and the Prague Spring in late 1960's Czechoslovakia would have succeeded if the pro-democracy forces had access to Simon Le Bon's pouty lips and Nick Rhodes's groovy hair?*
*Providing that the counterrevolutionary forces were armed with neon vibrators and not Kalashnikovs and Soviet tanks, of course.
If there's one lesson I need to learn, it's that the personal complacency that serves me well on so many occasions should not be applied to matters related to dental care. It's not as if I wasn't clued onto that in a big way three months ago, but some habits are harder to break than others.
While I do my best to shoulder my current self-made cross of avoidable stupidity, here are a few things that possess the ability to make me forget the pain, if only for a few short moments...
Sunday is a day of rest...and at Armagideon Time, it's also a day of lazy music video posts.
It's been a while since my last visual synergy post. To be honest, I'd pretty much given up on the concept. Compiling the last couple of installments turned out to be kind of a chore, which undermines the intended "lazy themed music video post" rationale.
I was driving down South Border Road this morning and marvelling at the post-snowstorm landscape. The Middlesex Fells Reservation had been recast in stark, dazzling monochrome. The forest of evergreens, the ground, the granite outcrops -- all rendered in the darkest of darks and the brightest of whites set beneath the battleship gray of an overcast sky. It got me thinking, in my usually elliptical manner, of the old school music video aesthetic where performers were plunked down before a plain white (and frequently overlit) backdrop and filmed in high contrast glory.
It's a striking effect and leaves little doubt as to where the viewers focus ought to be...and there's also the fact that it's far easier on the promotional budget than group trips to Sri Lanka or multiple JetSki rentals are. Though it's not as common a practice in these days of overpolished music video productions, the visual style still does crop up here and there every so often. And why not? It's visually compelling, cheap, and serves as a perfect bit of retrological shorthand.
It's the last Friday night before Christmas. For too many people, the next three days will be a screaming tinseled nightmare of last minute shopping, travel hassles, and event planning...
...and that's exactly why it's important to take a little time to kick back, relax, and appreciate the little things that make life worth living.
The Cattanooga Cats - Sittin' by the Fireside - This cozy little bubblegum pop gem didn't appear on the cartoon felines' 1969 LP, but came from Mondo Daddykin's meticulously compiled collection of the music used in the show. (Oh, how I miss MD's blog...) The male vocals for the Cats were handled by Michael Lloyd of The West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band (and later a superstar producer).
Wedding season is in full swing, so here's a music video tribute to nuptial bliss...
Nick Lowe - Cruel to Be Kind - Featuring Lowe's then-wife (country singer and Johnny Cash's step-daughter, Carlene Carter) and his Rockpile bandmates.
Billy Idol - White Wedding - Featuring Idol's then-partner Perri Lister, an exploding toaster, and asses shrinkwrapped in black latex.
The Greg Kihn Band - Jeopardy - She seemed like such a catch -- from old Innsmouth stock, dual master's degrees in marine biology and comparative religion, an Olympic level swimmer -- and then she took you to meet her family...
Pet Shop Boys - Heart - So Gandalf is not only the mutant master of magnetism, he's also a vampire? The fanfic/slashfic potential is staggering.
Pet Shop Boys - Heart (from Actually, 1987) - Whenever I listen to or post something by Pet Shop Boys, I feel the disembodied head of Kevin Church peering down over my left shoulder. One out of three times, it's just my overactive imagination at work.
Is "doing stuff for Africa" still the celebrity cause du jour? I ask because I had to close my eyes for a second, and in that space of time the beautiful people might have moved on to another subject of fashionable activism...like stopping cat juggling. Speaking out about starving kids, ethnic strife, and the other trappings of colonialism's putrid legacy is fine and all, but it's important to stay current in one's shallow efforts at advocacy. Darfur may be the new Tibet, but when even lampreys on the underbelly of celebrity culture like K-Fed mention an interest in the cause, it's time to seeks something a little more now. The slum clearances in Mumbai look rather promising in this regard, I'm told.
It makes me long for a simpler time of superficial dabbling in fashionable causes, when all it took to stroke one's ego save the world was a really shitty pop song and spot-the-famous-person music video. The Brits kicked off the trend with the not-terrible Band Aid track "Do They Know It's Christmas?" in 1984, the brainchild of Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, produced by the then-ubiquitous Trevor Horn:
Not to be done by their cousins across the pond, a veritable pantheon of American rock and pop stars came together in 1985 to do it right, and by "right" I mean excruciatingly self-indulgent and unbearably cheesy. As Greil Marcus pointed out, it's rather...odd...how the line "It's a choice we're making" in USA For Africa's "We Are the World" echoes Pepsi's "Choice of a New Generation" ad slogan, considering the song's composers, Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson, just happened to be pitchmen for the beverage at the time. "We're saving our own lives" has to set a record for obliviously narcissistic toxicity levels in a pop song.
Canada then responded with its own homegrown effort, which to this day I'm still half convinced is really a hoax perpetrated by the SCTV crowd. (Martin Short as Mike Reno, John Candy as Randy Bachman, Eugene Levy as Joni Mitchell...) When the reality is Northern Lights' "Tears Are Not Enough," satire becomes redundant:
That's all well and good, but where is the type of music that would speak to Andrew circa 1985? Where is the call to compassionate action targeted towards "the kidz." specifically the ones rocking their air guitars to Out of the Cellar and making laminated pentagrams in shop class? Have no fear, Hear n' Aid has got you covered with "We're Stars." (Hey! Who invited that dude from Journey?):
Every good popcult trend needs a corresponding parody, and The Ramones ably stepped up to the plate with the video for "Something to Believe In" (Maura's favorite Ramones track), featuring a quite awesome list of "celebrity" guest appearances:
The high point of this popcult ripple? Hands down, I'd say that honor goes to Artists United Against Apartheid's "Sun City," which featured a diverse roster of musicians (including Joey Ramone and a slew of old school rappers) and senses of conviction and geopolitical awareness sorely lacking in the other efforts. Keep an eye out for "possessed by the Devil" Bono (Maura's description, not mine):
Artists United Against Apartheid - Sun City (from Sun City, 1985) - How times have changed since then. Nelson Mandela has been freed, apartheid is no more, and a stay at the Sun City resort was the grand prize on the last season of Celebrity Fit Club.
I'm feeling a bit wiped today, so instead of a real post, here are a few music videos from Lush, a perennial Armagideon Time favorite.
Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance - Having gotten their synthpop groove on, the merry residents of Summerisle then proceeded to the shoreline to sacrifice Sergeant Howie to their heathen gods.
Adam & The Ants - Ant Rap - "It was incredibly stupid, yet we danced to it." - Maura, Queen of Animals and lapsed Antperson
Real Life - Send Me an Angel - When Chewbacca met that one gal who works at Hot Topic and insists her name is "Countess Natasha" even though her name tag says "Bernice." Also: Check out Little Lord Fauntelroy on keyboards.
Real Life - Send Me an Angel (from Heartland, 1983; also available on New Wave Hits of the 80's, Volume 11, 1995) - I mock, but I do happen to like this bit of Aussie new wave. I could have done without that odd rock riff near the end, though.
According to Wikipedia (which I admit carries the same weight as "according to that street person who rants about Perry Como and black helicopters"), there have been no fewer than seventeen versions of this song released by the band in the past quarter-century. My personal favorite is the 12" kazoo and helium extended dance mix given away as an incentive for prospective Betamax machine buyers. It edged out the Macarena Fiesta dub mix by the slimmest of margins.
A neat visual gimmick? A statement about the artificiality and superficiality of modern pop music? The basis for this week's lazy music video post?
a-ha - Take on Me - The cartoon bits are what everyone remembers, but few people realize that the live action sequences were filmed using a then-experimental process known as Mentos-Vision.
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood - Other bands may dabble with the whole cartoon thing, but the Gorillaz took it all the way. I really, really want a hand puppet of the rapping ghost from this video. Anyone want to make one for me?
Bloc Party - Helicopter - I get odd flashes of déjà vu whenever I listen to modern indie pop bands. It's not flashes of historical awareness (like being able to detect traces of Roxy Music in Duran Duran's "Hungry like the Wolf") or obvious sources of inspiration (like with Marsheaux and the Human League and OMD), but rather a feeling of false nostalgia, that I've heard these songs before, but can't place where.
ABC - (How to Be a) Millionaire - I can't get past how much animated Martin Fry looks like my brother in this video. All that's missing are a pair of spectacles and a Captain America t-shirt.
ABC - (How to Be a) Millionaire (from How to Be a...Zillionaire!, 1985) - Such a perfect embodiment of an era in musical form, made even more entertaining by the way my brain overlays Eddie Murphy's "You've got no ice cream, 'cause your on welfare" on top of the "I've seen the future/I can't afford it" parts. Given the choice, though, I'd rather listen to the band's more substantial Lexicon of Love LP.
Hamm: All is…all is…all is what? (Violently.) All is what?
Clov: What all is? In a word? Is that what you want to know? Just a moment. (He turns the telescope on the without, looks, lowers the telescope, turns towards Hamm.) Corpsed. (Pause.) Well, content?
- Samuel Beckett, Endgame
Here's to a childhood spent in the clutches of apocalyptic dread and 80's pop music...
Nena - 99 Luftballons (English Version) - Andrew's Dating Do's and Dont's:
Do: find an activity that both you and your date enjoy
Don't: accidentally cause a nuclear war
Fishbone - Party at Ground Zero - Bunker parties are always chancy affairs. No matter how ausipicous a note they begin upon, the festivities will inevitably brought down by cyanide, self-inflicted gunshot wounds, or the spectre of radioactive death showing up unannounced.
Men at Work - It's a Mistake - What is this term "mistake?" Some sort of archaic nonsense word like "responsibility," "accountability," or "contrition?"
Ultravox - Dancing with Tears in My Eyes - Nuclear power doesn't kill people. Lethal doses of ionizing radiation let loose by mechanical or human error kill people. So have a bit of faith, people. Why shouldn't the same utility industries who can't resolve a simple billing inquiry be allowed to tamper with the fundamental forces of nature?
Supernova (well, one of the many acts using that name) recorded a techno/dance cover of this song a few years ago. I considered using it as the token music track for today's installment of "visual synergy," but why settle for a saccharine imitation?
Ultravox - Dancing with Tears in My Eyes (from The Collection, 1984)
I'm feeling a bit peckish. Anyone else fancy a bite to eat? There's plenty of room at the table...
Peter Gabriel - Games Without Frontiers - Exposing the machinations of the global Parcheesi conspiracy. Peter Gabriel's pioneering work in posing dramatically while holding a giant flashlight would have a massive influence on Frankie Goes to Hollywood a couple years down the line.
Ratt - Round and Round - You bring the D-Con; I'll bring the glue traps.
INXS - The One Thing - It's like that one scene from Fielding's Tom Jones, but run through an early 80's low budget music video filter.
Don't listen to the naysayers; cat fur makes everything taste better.
Tenpole Tudor - Swords of a Thousand Men - I'm happy to say that I've never eaten at one of those medieval-themed restaurants, nor ever had the desire to eat at one. I also make it a point to steer clear of Renaissance "faires" on general principle. If I have to see a bunch of people in period costumes acting foolish, I want some oddball punk rock thrown into the mix, which is where these guys come in. Frontman Edward Tudor-Pole has also had a long and interesting acting career, having starred in such films as The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle (where he sang "Who Killed Bambi"), several Alex Cox productions, and the utterly abysmal adaptation of Colin MacInnes's Absolute Beginners.
Tenpole Tudor - Swords of a Thousand Men (from Eddie, Old Bob, Dick and Gary, 1981)
Because nobody else had the stones to do it, this week’s lazy music video post features the glory that is Bill Paxton.
“Why Bill Paxton?” you may ask, to which I must respond “Why not?” He’s a man whose acting career has featured such high points as getting killed by an Alien, a Terminator, and a Predator. His role in Near Dark inspired my younger self to attach spurs to my punk boots, thus leading to all sorts of escalator-related hi-jinx. He managed to channel the dignified demeanor of Norville Rogers while fending off hordes of chitinous nightmares (though none so nightmarish as his Big Love co-star Chloë Sevigny) on the surface of LV-426.
Any man willing to take second billing to a flying CGI cow is all right in my book. Plus, he had a small part in Streets of Fire, which automatically puts him beyond reproach as far as I’m concerned. (Don’t look at me that way.)
Paxton directed and appeared in this video for Barnes and Barnes’ classic novelty song “Fish Heads.” Barnes and Barnes was a collaborative project between Robert Hamier and former child star Billy Mumy, and their musical output is the most damning indictment yet of a childhood spent in the company of a slinky-armed robot and ne’er-do-well scientist with a penchant for alliterative insults.
Jumping ahead a couple years to the golden age of big budget, high concept music videos, here’s the video for Pat Benatar’s “Shadows of the Night,” featuring Paxton as a Nazi officer. According to the IMDB, Paxton learned to speak German in preparation for his role. How does one say “Game over, man!” auf Deutsch? (And, yes, that’s Judge Reinhold in there as part of Benatar’s crew. He'll pop again before this post is over. Trust me.)
Besides appearing in other people’s music videos, Paxton starred in couple of his own as the frontman for Martini Ranch, an oddball pop band reminiscent of Wall of Voodoo, Oingo Boingo, and Devo. The above video for 1986’s “How Can the Labouring Man Find Time for Self-Culture?” was directed by James Cameron, and features cameos by fellow Cameron regulars Michael Biehn and Jenette Goldstein, as well as appearances by Anthony Michael Hall and Judge Reinhold. (See, I told you.)
Historical (and celebrity) curiosity value aside, the song is a fun bit of 80’s pop, and features the Devolutionary talents of Mark Mothersbaugh. (Musically, it reminds me a lot of China Crisis’ “Working With Fire and Steel.”) It’s hardly a “classic” by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s still far better than the overreaching and frequently painful efforts of current-gen actors/actresses-turned-pop musicians.
Martini Ranch - How Can the Labouring Man Find Time for Self-Culture? (from a 1986 12” single)
It's a balmy Tuesday in May, and the clock on the wall says "It's time for another lazy music video post." Our special for two day is two eggs served over easy, with just a dash of pretense:
Front 242 - Headhunter - "A year here and he still dreamed of ovoidspace, hope fading nightly. All the Lipitor he took, all the shells he'd cracked and the pans he greased in the Big Coop, and he'd still see the matrix in his dreams, bright yellow circles of yoke unfolding across that sticky, colorless void... "
The Cure - Let's Go to Bed - "Lol, when Robert Smith asks you to share an apartment with him, you say "NO!!!"
I know there's something I've missed, but that's just as well. I ought to keep a close eye on the cholesterol intake, right?
My webhost provider is currently doing maintenance on one of their server rooms, so the mp3 links on this site are currenly nonfunctional. Hopefully things will be up and running shortly. I'm going to use this as an excuse to kick back and relax for a day. In the meantime, here is some pure love in music video form:
Tune in tomorrow for my obligatory Civil War #7 post.
Update: Everything's up and running again. I'm still taking the day off.
The switch from posting every three days, instead of every two, wasn't intentional, but that's going to be how it is for the immediate future. Because I feel guilty about leaving my regular readers in the lurch, I decided to make use of YouTube's vast resources before their impasse with Warners brings the whole thing crashing down.
Manfred Mann - The Mighty Quinn - I have a really funny story about this song that I can never tell anyone, ever.
Modern English - Someone's Calling - They'll always be remembered for the immortal "I Melt With You" (a song whose magnificence has not been diminished by its use in commercials or by that abysmal 1990 version), but the rest of the material on their After the Snow LP was also exceptionally good.
I've been meaning to do a post like this for some time now, so it's probably best to get it out of the way before YouTube mutates into something corporate and sinister.
The Byrds - I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better
The Soviettes - Multiply and Divide
Robert Hazard - Escalator of Life
bis - Eurodisco
Posts
All Comments
