city of fitful dreams

Decades before Carol Danvers and Billy Batson graced the City on the Hill with their sequentially artsy presences, the cast of Winsor McCay's pioneering comic strip, Little Nemo in Slumberland, made a brief stopover in the magical land of Bahstin.

Here's the highlight reel from that 1911 visit:

First up, an aerial flyby to assess the terrain, complete with the requisite comments about the confusing layout of the roads. Certainly a wise course of action, though perhaps best done without addition of a racist caricature.

(Unlike certain other lesser cities, Boston's street plan is the result of organic growth over the space of nearly four hundred years of continuous habitation. This might lack the centrally planned clarity of a regular grid of prefab developments laid over the bulldozed remains of an orange grove, but it's the price one pays for an authentic sense of regional history.)

The oddly-shaped spit of land above the gentleman on the right's chapeau is old Columbia Point, back in the days when it housed a sewage plant and a city dump, and before the peninsula was jacketed into a seawall and became the location of my scrappy (and only slightly dumpy) alma mater.

The next stop on the itinerary is the Old South Meeting House on Washington Street, which is neither the Old South Church nor the location where the "one if by land, two if by sea" lanterns associated with Revere's ride were hung. (That happened at the Old North Church. I have no idea why you outsiders get so confused when you ask for directions.)

The Massachusetts State House, curiously denuded of all surrounding landmarks, marks the final leg of the tour. Contrary to what McCay would have the reader believe, the crowd below have not gathered to watch the arrival of the intrepid explorers, but to witness the latest scandal in which the Speaker of the House has been embroiled -- an occurrence so reliable and predictable, in fact, that it has replaced the atomic clock as the standard for timekeeping in the Commonwealth.

Charlie Flaherty, then Tom Finneran, now Sal DiMasi -- what is it about the job that causes the suspension of professional ethics and integrity? The entrenched remnants of the local political machine culture emboldened by the fact that Massachusetts is essentially a one-party state? Or that the Speaker's gavel is some eldritch Lovecraftean artifact that channels corrupting impulses into those who wield it? (I suspect it involves a bit of both theories.)

Having moored their Art Nouveau airship to Boston Common's famous Pee Tree (so named, as a crazy street person once informed me, because "some dude just peed on it"), the crew sets out to gather provisions for their journey to Montreal (which has better strip clubs and a lower drinking age than Beantown does, as well as Lay's Smoky Bacon potato chips).

There are few things as lovely as a toasted slice of Boston brown bread (a.k.a. "the bread that comes in a can") smothered in butter, but Flip demonstrates a painful lack of awareness in the the gastro-intestinal symbiosis between brown bread and baked beans. The high fiber content of the beans is required to offset the sweet sludginess of the brown bread. Five thousand loaves eaten on their own will only lead to a colon impacted with neutron star densities of molasses-heavy waste material.

At least it will make for an interesting voyage to Quebec. I just hope the airship has more than one lavatory onboard.

The Byrds - Boston (from The Preflyte Sessions, 2001) - Recorded before the band hit their folk rock stride, this track demonstrates a strong early Beatles influence -- and by "early Beatles," I mean "Chuck Berry."

Friend and Lover - Boston Is a Lovely Town (from Reach Out of the Darkness, 1968) - Non-specific praise is groovy!

herstory repeats itself

In 1972's Adventure Comics #418, a women's self defense organization...


...turns out to be a front for something sinister.


In 1994's Captain America #431, a project to champion gender equality by unlocking women's full potential...


...turns out to be a front for something sinister.


In 2007's Countdown to Final Crisis, a seemingly begin women's shelter...


...turns out to be a front for -- surprise, surprise -- something sinister.


In this ever-changing world of ours, it's reassuring to know that there are some constants we can rely upon.

Silicon Teens - Judy in Disguise (from Music for Parties, 1980) - The Silicon Teens were a playful synthpop cover band which acted as a front organization for Mute Records founder Daniel Miller. Miller was also responsible -- as The Normal -- for the Ballardian minimalist electro classic "Warm Leatherette" and through his label released albums by such seminal synthpop outfits such as Yazoo, Erasure, and Depeche Mode.

The conspiracy stretches wider than you could possibly imagine. Trust no one.

Halloween Countdown: October 4 – red dawn crazy crazy

It might seem odd to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Sputnik launch in a Halloween countdown, but, hey, if it's good enough for Stephen King...

In the opening chapter of Danse Macabre, King's ruminations on the history and mechanics of the horror genre, he recounts his childhood memories of the announcement that the Soviets had placed the first artificial satellite in orbit. From his perspective, it was an event as momentous and harrowing as the Cuban Missile Crisis or the Kennedy assassination, which may seem a hyperbolic reaction to a polished sphere containing a simple radio transmitter, but historical context is key here.


The terror wasn't about the crude device lofted into orbit as much as the delivery system that put it there. The Soviets had proven they had the means to successfully launch a ballistic missile, and so quite literally seized the tactical high ground in the Cold War arms race. Jet bombers had limited range and could theoretically be intercepted. (There was a Nike anti-aircraft missile site not too far from my grandmother's childhood home on the Woburn/Burlington line at the time.) An ICBM, on the other hand, could hit Muncie, Indiana just as easily as it could hit Seattle, with a next to zero chance of being knocked from the sky en route.

(This hasn't stopped the military-industrial complex from pissing away billions in trying to create a "missile shield", even though anything short of a 100% success rate would be fundamentally pointless. A successful interception would be poor consolation to the residents Hartford if both the Boston/Route 128 region and New York City had been transformed into fallout-belching radioactive craters.)

The Sputnik launch did mark the crossing into a new frontier, but intertwined with the visions of jet cars and lunar vacation excusions was the notion that Cold War geopolitics and the associated anxieties thereof had extended their reach across the entire planet -- an additional sense of dread in an era rife with panics, moral and otherwise.


Sigue Sigue Sputnik - Rockit Miss USA (from Flaunt It! 1986) - The launching of Sigue Sigue Sputnik caused much dread in those concerned about CFC's and the hole in the ozone layer.

Skip Stanley - Satellite Baby (from a 1956 single; collected on The Ultimate 50's Rockin' Sci-Fi Disc, 2003) - SHAKE YOUR ASTEROID!

...and just so no one accuses me of straying from the musical aspect of the Halloween theme month:

dok-u-ment - Live in Fear (from New Wave Complex, Vol. 9) - Nearly ten minutes worth of oppressive and dark synth. Googling turned up next to nothing on dok-u-ment, except that they were probably from Germany or thereabouts and that this track came from a cassette release, which would explain the why it sounds so muddy. (Personally, I think it just adds to its claustrophobic atmosphere.)

like hotcakes and molasses

I'm feeling powerfully hungry tonight. Hey, Shirley "Wife-of-Pat" Boone, got any ideas what I should fix myself for dinner?


Chili, eh? Sounds great! I'm always up for Tex-Mex cuisine. Let's see if I have all the ingredients on hand. Yep...I think those still ought be to be good..yep...yeah...WHAT IN THE NAME OF HOLY HELL?


That's got to be a misprint. I mean that's just fucking insane. Let me clean my spectacles and doublecheck the instructions...


Hmm... A bold precursor to the fusion cuisine movement? Or another example of the 1950's white Protestant normative culture cluelessly lumping all non-WASP ethnic groups into a single mass under the contol of the Vatican? Either way, it's making me lose my appetite.

Y'know, Shirley, I appreciate the help and all, but I think I'm just going to make a run down to Dragon Garden from some sweet and sour chicken and crab rangoons.

Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five - Beans and Cornbread (from Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five: 1947-1949, 2002) - Jump Blues: It's more than good. It's good for you. A heartfelt plea for culinary harmony that features one of the best (and most fattening) wind-ups and finishes in any song, ever.

The Adicts - Chinese Takeaway (from Sound of Music, 1982) - So where'd you put the menu? No, it's not by the phone. Hey, I didn't have it last. Look, it's not worth arguing over. I'm not using that tone, but I'm hungry and the place is going to close in half an hour. You found it? Where was it? Being used as a bookmark in my DC Showcase: War That Time Forgot trade? I don't know how it got there, honest. All right, let's not play the blame game; you order and I'll pay, ok? (I smell a frame up.) What? I didn't say anything, honest!

morituri te salutant

"Look what I got at Target today! Let's play!"

"Okay."

"I'm Bob. I'm a Roman centurion. I have a sword."

"I am Vectrix, son of Verucloetius, and was once a reknowned tinsmith of the Volcae. When the Golden Eagles came to take our lands, I rallied to the banner of my chieftain. Our warhost was slaughtered by Centurion Bob's legion. I saw my wife and daughters spitted on Roman spears, and I was taken prisoner. My arms were strong from working my trade, so I was judged fit to join the gladitorial games as a slave. My days are spent sating my Imperial masters' lust for bloodsport. My nights are spent mourning for my family and my tribe, and I await the day I shall join them in the world beyond this one."

"So, Vectrix, do you wanna fight?"

"........................................................

..........................................................

Sure, why not?"

Human League - Circus of Death (from Reproduction, 1979) - As part of its new line of Roman and gladiator-themed toys, Playmobil is also releasing an Emperor figure (with throne) and a giant Circus Maximus playset. I'm half tempted to pick it up, if only to incorporate it with my Playmobil nativity scene.

The song? Oh, it's from the League's creepy, experimental days, as opposed to their coldly romantic new wave era, or their lousy MOR pop nonsense period.

The Jesus Lizard - Gladiator (from Liar, 1992) - In college, my friends and I used The Jesus Lizard as a means of describing certain...eccentrics...to be tiptoed around. For example:

"What's his deal?"
"Oh, he's a big fan of The Jesus Lizard."
"That explains it. Thanks for the warning."

I can't remember, so it can't be important

Hey, there are quite a few things missing from that timeline! Here’s a non-comprehensive addendum:

1899-1902 – The Philippine-American War

1910 – Jim Jeffries’ loss to Jack Johnson causes race riots

1916 – The Everett Massacre

1919 – The Omaha Race Riot

1919-1921 – The First Red Scare and the Palmer Raids

1920’s – Invasions of various Central American countries on behalf of American corporations

1929 – The Crash of '29 begins the Great Depression with a bang

1932 – Forced eviction of the Bonus Marchers

1931-1937 – The Scottsboro Boys' Trials

1937 – The Battle of the Overpass

1942 – Executive Order 9066 leads to internment of Japanese and Japanese-Americans

1947 – Congress overrides President Truman’s veto of the Taft-Hartley Act

1948 – Supreme Court upholds prayer in schools

I have no problem in taken pride in a job well done, but a little introspection helps keep one from getting smug and self-satisfied, especially when some of the accomplishments are dubious at best...

Sham 69 - Tell Us the Truth (from Tell Us the Truth, 1978)

Chumbawamba - Amnesia (from Tubthumper, 1997)