Though geopolitical follies led to my entering this sad world south of the Mason-Dixon line, I've always considered myself to be a Bay Stater born and bred, and I take no small pride in that fact. It's a harsh region and it generates a harsh breed of people -- impatient, irritable, and fiercely devoted to the only religion that matters. Well, that and the First Church of Aggressive Driving Habits. (I recite the liturgy during every morning's and evening's commute: OHFORFUCKSAKE-WHATTHEHELLAREYOUDOING-HOWABOUTATURNSIGNAL-FUCKWAD. Amen.)
Among the many other aspects of this willful parochialism is my longstanding fascination-slash-repulsion regarding how the region is portrayed in television, movies, and other popcultural diversions -- fascination due to the "Hey, they're talking about us!" factor, with the repulsive flipside over how frequently the entertainment business screws up the various regionalisms. The only reason I could be bothered to watch A Civil Action (set in my dysfunctionally beloved Woburn) is to see Stephen Fry putter around the bank of an Aberjona River far wider and more picturesque than the muddy creek that flows through my fair city. (Woburn itself is depicted as a stock Hollywoodized "New England town," rather than appearing as the industrialized mid-ring residential suburb it was back then.)
By far, the biggest stumbling block in popular portrayals of the Land of Bean and Cod comes when non-natives try to imitate the region's distinctive accent. Tim Robbins nailed it perfectly in Mystic River, but most actors are content to retrofit a broad Brooklynesque accent with exaggeratedly dropped R's and liberal use of "wicked" as a modifier. Or, even worse, they imitate how the Kennedys speak, even though no one but the Kennedys talks that way. Seriously.
The devil is in the details, and the Hollywood Bahston accent overlooks numerous but significant linguistic tics that characterise the real deal. Just one example is the dropping of middle double consonants. (I've had two linguistically-minded friends tell me what the correct scientific term for it is, but it seems incapable of sticking in my memory.) "Button" becomes "buh-un" and "kitten" becomes "kih-en." It's a small detail, but one that makes it easy to pick out the pretenders from the genuine article.
And so, with my grumpy, hyper-specific pedantic mindset firmly in place, I would like to direct your attention to Ms. Marvel v1 #13-14 (January & Feburary 1978), a two-part non-arc set in Boston area. The actual stories are no big deal. Carol Danvers (a.k.a. Ms. Marvel) returns home to her parents' house in the upscale North Shore suburb of Beverly (which, oddly enough, borders on the town of Danvers. "Hi, I'm Joe Brooklyn from Queens!"). She deals with some Daddy issues, gets caught in a struggle between two alien beings, and fights the rivet gun-wielding Steeplejack. Oh, she also has a two page non-encounter with Dracula, whose only purpose was to remind readers that Marvel was publishing the Tomb of Dracula comic at the time.
Instances of local color in the two issues are pretty thin on the ground. As drawn by Jim Mooney and Carmine Infantino, Boston looks like pretty much any comic book big city. Writer Chris Claremont does get his geography straight...kind of. He correctly mentions Lynn (Lynn, the city of sin/you'll never come out the way you came in) as a midpoint on the Boston-Beverly commute, but inexcusably drops the ball in this sequence....
...in which the Kittery, Maine naval base has mysteriously migrated sixty miles south to occupy the previous location of the Charlestown Navy Yard. Thank goodness Old Ironsides wasn't harmed in the massive geographic upheaval.
Claremont made no effort to capture the Boston accent in the characters' dialogue, which is surprising considering how much he reveled in such antics in the X-titles he wrote. Och, the wee bairn, tovarisch! Mein gott! Mon dieu! Ah'm invulnerable, sugah! It's probably for the best, actually. Besides, having been made aware of Ms. Danver's Bay State roots, I've found myself subconsciously applying a Boston accent when I read her dialogue...
Rather pissah, I dare say.
Speech patterns and geographical accuracy aside, there is one panel where Carol does show her Beantown bona fides in big way...
...following a high-intensity superheroic workout with a lahge coffee regulah (from Dunkin Donuts, of course). Way to represent, Ms. Danvers!
(What the hell is up with the "even in Boston" caption, anyway? A sixty story building collapsing is big news where ever it happens. Hell, this incident caused a local panic and made the national news. We may be jaded around here, but we're not completely insensate.)
Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - New England (from The Beserkley Years, 1987) - There's nothing I can add that Mr. Richman & Company haven't already got covered here.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
what did I do but miss my home
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8 comments:
The "...even in _______" thing is such a stock Claremontism that it's not even funny. Except, y'know, it kind of is, cos Boston people are just not that jaded—or maybe it's just that we love to piss and moan. Things that New Yorkers would dismiss with a grunt and a shrug, your Bostonian's totally gonna get his balls in an uproar.—not because it's so awful but just because we are in love with the sound of our own outraged voices.
I mean, forget the Big dig ceiling collapse: in the 70s, right about the time of this comic, panes of glass were falling from the Hancock tower, and people were shittin' bricks. (When they eventually replaced al;l the windows, Jerry Ellis bought the old defective panes and sold 'em at Building 19—true story!) And let's not forget how the city collectively shat itself over a few LEDs on a board, last summer...
Anywez: From my exile in the frozen ass-end of upstate New York, I'm laughin' my friggin' ass off. (And don't even get me stahted on The Friggin' Depahhted. Jeezus, Mahty.) I hear Gone, Baby Gone is pretty good, though...
Yeah, I didn't feel like getting too much into plot details, but the skyscraper-related plot seems to have been inspired by the Hancock tower problems, with maybe a dollop of the UMass Boston building scandal on the side.
I've tried explaining to the wife how grousing about things is a regional birthright, but she refuses to accept it even though she was born and reared in Medford.
thank you thank you thank you thank you.
i wanted to hear this song even more than i wanted to find a fluffernutter sandwich for lunch.
you rule the skewl. a lot.
Wicked pissah post.
When Stephanie Zimbalist had to develop a "real New England accent" for a role, somebody sent her to New Bedford, where she amused locals by saying "buh-on" for "button." (Everybody knows it's really "buh-in" down here. Regional variance.)
BTW, I've dropped the hook in both Chahlstown Navel Yahd and Pawtsmith (which is actually Kittery ME). Boat stuff. Comes with the outfit. Go Jonathan!
I think "Even in Boston" refers to this sort of
shenanigans.
But not at MIT, thank God. Save that shit for Harvard...
Wouldn't that be "lahge coffee reg'lah"?
Possibly, depending on local variations. "Reg'ah'lah," is also common.
Love your observations...I was raised in upstate New York leaving me without the charm of sounding like a Kennedy or a Corleone...instead, I sound like a somewhat confused hybrid of both...a Kennedy with a machine gun, I guess. PS: Thank you for the link.
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