sweet land of liberty, feels like a prison to me

The reaction to the already-infamous Civil War: Frontline #11 has been echoing across the comics internet for the past twenty-four hours. That makes it old hat at this point, but I still feel the need to ask, “What the fuck, Marvel?”

In the unlikely event you haven’t yet heard the news, the Michelle Malkin-in-training (Boy, the Daily Bugle will hire anyone these days.) featured in the above panels takes Captain America to task because his quaint ideals – y’know, justice, freedom, and equality – don’t encompass the “real” America of MySpace, NASCAR and YouTube (her namedrops, not mine) and the diminished set of expectations passed off as the true face of our national beast.

As a commenter on Kevin Church’s site pointed out, it’s a bastardized version of an old Michael Moore spiel. Moore’s argument was that there is a huge pool of sympathy for classically liberal ideas among the “unwashed masses,” but the political elites need to leave their ivory towers and speak to – not “down to” – these people. It’s a valid idea, proved by the results of Howard Dean’s full court press strategy for the 2006 congressional elections, but it has a very specific context. It boils down to (in my words, not Moore’s): “We are not so different, you and I. Not nearly as different as those billionaire motherfuckers who exploit your religious convictions in order to push more tax cuts for themselves through congress.” (Yeah, yeah, the Democrats are no great shakes, either, but I’ll take “inept” over “evil” any day of the week.)

As presented in Frontline, the argument isn’t about the dangers of being out of touch, but as a false dichotomy between idealism and realism: “How dare you disrupt the shitty world I had grown comfortable with, when you can’t even name a single contestant on American Idol!” I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that when I “grew up,” I’d evolve past my idealism and accept how “the world works.” I’m going to turn 35 in two weeks, and it hasn’t happened yet. If anything, my idealism has grown stronger over time. It’s has been tempered by empirical factors, but the underlying convictions remain rock solid. That pressure to accept the status quo strikes me as the evangelizing of the shoulder-shrugger, the whimper of a whipped dog attempting to justify why it wears a leash and collar.

I’m all for the common touch, but anyone who tries to define their “Americanism” by mass culture trends of the moment, and not by ideals is a fucking dipshit. Even as a counter-point in a work of disposable fiction, it’s beneath contempt. The only thing that could have made it more embarassing would have been to have a Greek chorus of 9/11 first responders echoing the sentiments in the background. Given Marvel's willingness to exploit or hamfistedly emote over (U DECIDE!) the events of that day, I'm surprised they didn't take that route.

Toxic Reasons – God Bless America (from Kill By Remote Control, 1984)

The Checkers – Seeing Spots (from Make a Move, 2003)

cancel my subscription to the resurrection

…send my credentials to the house of detention. I’ve got some friends inside.

I toyed briefly -- very briefly -- with the idea of matching appropriate panels from Civil War #7 to other lines from that song, but Doors references, like fresh ginger root, are best used sparingly. The song in question is “When the Music’s Over” from 1967’s Strange Days. It’s one of those long, rambling psychedelic death trips cited by the group’s rather fanatical fanbase as proof of the Lizard King’s divine genius, and for some reason it’s been stuck in my head since reading the final issue of Civil War last week.

I kind of wish it wasn’t, because I happen to really like the song, and it pains me to associate it with what turned out to be the most monumental damp squib in comic book history. All the hype, crossover issues, and delays, and the best ending they can come up with is “Captain America gets tackled by some first-responders, notices the property damage his crusade has caused, sheds some tears, surrenders, and winds up in prison?” My expectations for the event’s resolution were below ankle-height, yet it still managed to come up well short of that low bar.

Now that I think of it, the lines “stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn/and tied her with fences and dragged her down” makes me think of the current state of the poor Marvel Universe. That brushes a little too close to fan entitlement for my comfort, though. The most appropriate song to have stuck in my head would be an acapella rendition of “Oops, I Did It Again” performed by Joe Quesada, Brian Bendis, and Mark Millar. (I will settle for the Doors’ track, I think.)

While I haven’t been thrilled with what DC has been doing with their event titles, I have to concede that they’ve been able to respectably balance the requisite shakeups of their superhero universe’s status quo with making sure that folks who want to read an unencumbered Batman or Superman story can satisfy their desires. The “one year later” gimmick, where the immediate post-Infinite Crisis situation was explored in 52 while the main titles followed their own courses, turned out to be pretty clever in retrospect.

Civil War, on the other hand, has set up a fundamentally untenable status quo (as far as superhero genre conventions go) that exists solely to segue almost immediately into the next big over-hyped event from the “House of Ideas.” (You know, there used to be a time when that term was used sans irony.) Maybe I’m wrong, though, and I’m underestimating the hunger Marvel’s fanbase has for stories dealing with government-controlled teams of superhumans building job training centers in Gary, Indiana or teaching literacy in the Appalachians.

I have to confess that the idea of each state having its very own official superhero team is pretty nifty. Just imagine the dramatic potential of a story where Green Mountain, Ski Bum, Old Yankee Cheese, and Graying Hippie fight the menace of maple syrup rustlers outside Montpelier. (I kid, of course. Anyone with the slightest awareness of how modern superhero comics storytelling works knows that these unnamed ciphers exist to be utilized as cannon fodder later down the big event assembly line.)

This post is far more rantish than the topic deserves, but I was aiming for something more substantive than the “eh” plus eyerolling that was my initial reaction to the comic. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve been reading superhero nonsense long enough to have developed a fatalistic, mechanical view of how things shake out for the spandex and capes set. Every few years, it’s a new turn of the wheel, but it’s uncommon to see the wheel spun so obviously or to witness the people spinning it catching their fingers in the spokes.

The Posies – Surrender (from At Least, At Last, 2000) – An excellent fuzzed-around-the-edges cover of Cheap Trick’s anthem for the denim jacket, nickel bag, and custom van conversion generation.

The Cardigans – Iron Man (from First Band on the Moon, 1996) – I don’t usually take repost requests, but, hey, it fits today’s theme.

It's a shame Iron Man has become Marvel's go-to guy for dickish behavior, because I've known quite a few folks who weren't really into comics but loved the character. (It's something not limited to my circle either, apparently.) I suspect the appeal is rooted in the fusion of the self-made heroism of Batman with the powers and abilities of Superman, wrapped up in a shiny suit full of gadgets.

Finally, if you haven't seen it already, stop by Chris Sims's Invinicible Super-Blog and check out his "Civil War in 30 Seconds." You will be glad you did.

Who is side are you on?

Have no fear, your humble narrator has not succumbed to the clutches of latent dysphasia. Today’s post title is in reference to this example of how a little thing like effective proofreading can fall through the cracks amidst a massively marketed and promoted major comics crossover event.

I figured that since I’ve already unfurled my geek flag with yesterday’s post (and destroyed any last vestiges of punk rock credibility I might have possessed in your eyes), that I’d take a few moments and reflect on Marvel’s “must have” event book of the moment, Civil War. It may seem late in the game for me to be throwing my two cents in, but given the numerous delays (and accompanying excuses) which have plagued the core miniseries, it seems rather fitting.

There is a sense among the more shrill elements of the fan community that the comics blogosphere has a strong anti-Marvel/pro-DC bias. These folks have attempted to prove this theory by pointing out the discrepancy between the bloggers’ generally negative reviews of Civil War with the title’s strong sales figures. There are a few things off about that argument, though.

One, as Dorian has repeatedly tried to pound home, popularity is not an indicator of quality. If that were true, then the "Death of Superman", the early Image titles, and other record-selling flotsam of the 90’s comics boom would represent the pinnacle of the medium’s artistic achievement. Or, to put it another way, Beverly Hills Ninja was the number one movie in America on its opening weekend. Junk food, and its various analogues, always sells well to the masses, but few who consume it have any illusions about its overall quality. It’s convenient, disposable, and can provide a gratifying quick fix without requiring an intense investment of time or effort. This may sound elitist of me, but confusing junk food with a decent meal says more about the partaker’s limited palate than it does about the merits of the foodstuffs in question.

Two, the argument also ignores the fact that many of the supposed Marvel-haters were pretty generous in their assessments of Civil War…up until Cyber-Clone Thor ("Clor?") reveal pulled back the curtain and verified that what was happening was less a story about established characters, than Mark Millar using a high-pressure hose to blast a shitstream of half-baked “clever” or “edgy” ideas against the wall in hopes of something sticking. Instead of poor or paradoxical characterizations being interdicted by Marvel editorial, the decision was made to retroactively justify them with nonsensical retcons.

Early PR materials suggested that the political issues underpinning Civil War would be portrayed in an even-handed light, with the virtues and flaws of both warring factions given equal time. The reality turned out to be a race to the bottom level of assholedom, a contest to determine who could alienate readers’ sympathies the most, Captain America or Iron Man. (The latter being the odds-on favorite to win, barring some last minute plot-hammered miracle.)

Three, not enjoying Civil War is not the same as despising Marvel and its entire output. While Nextwave runs a little glib for my tastes on occasion, for the most part it has been an enjoyable romp through the back alleys of the Marvel Universe. Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane and Ed Brubaker’s run on Captain America also get plenty of love from the comics blogosphere. It seems to me that affection for Marvel’s stable of characters runs pretty high among that crowd, but there’s not much fondness in how the characters are currently being used. A corollary to this is that while DC is not immune to the slings and arrows of the bloggers, the diversity of the company’s output generally means that it’s possible to find something that tickles one’s fancy.

Ok, onto the music. This is an mp3 blog after all, despite my friend’s flattering statement that “it’s much more than that.”

On one hand we have Captain America, representing the fanatical, libertarian vigilante camp:

The Kinks – Catch Me Now I’m Falling (from Low Budget, 1979) – This is best track in my collection of songs that reference the Living Legend. (What, you don’t have a similar folder on your computer? Jeez.) It’s not like the competition was fierce; compared to the whiny stoner rock of moe’s “Captain America” or the intolerable Parrothead nonsense of Jimmy Buffet’s song of the same name, the late 70’s Kinks’ slightly paunchy, borderline corporate rock will win hands down every time.

Theme to the 1966 Captain America cartoon – “Cartoon” might be too strong a word. “Still drawings lifted from the comics accompanied by shouting and explosions” better conveys the idea. The faux Mitch Miller sound fits extremely well with my concept of Cap.

On the other hand, here’s Iron Man, representing the jackbooted, crypto-fascist ideology of the surveillance state:

Red Alert – The Iron Man (from Still Out of Order: Oi! Singles Collection, 2000) – A touch of “The Wanderer,” a touch of “Real Wild Child,” -- This has to be the cover of some old, presumably British, rock and roll song, but damned if I can coax any additional info out of Google.

(“Wait, Andrew,” I hear you saying, “how could you not post Black Sabbath’s ‘Iron Man’? It’s a classic.” Fine, but be careful what you wish for, my friends. Here’s a cover version by DYS, a Boston hardcore band from the early 80’s. It’s from Wolfpack, an 1990 expanded reissue of their Brotherhood 12”, and serves as a perfect rebuttal to those folks who over-romanticize Boston’s old hardcore punk scene.)

Theme to the 1966 Iron Man cartoon – Whereas Cap’s theme was strictly squaresville, daddy-o, everyone’s favorite armor-plated alcoholic got something a bit more “with it” for his theme. Falsifying defense contract cost overruns by day, using his repulsor rays to blast the bejeezus out of Commie agents by night – who wouldn’t want to be Tony Stark?

“Who’s” side am I on? Right now I’m firmly in Mille the Model’s camp, although I’m considering a strong counter-offer from Donovan’s people. After all, Superman or Green Lantern have got nothing on his powerful brand of mellow folk rock…

Donovan – Sunshine Superman (Unedited Version) (from The Essential Donovan, 2004)

(Thanks to Dave Lartigue for providing the wonderful “I’m with Millie” banner.)