who's the fool

I hate that sock. I hate it because it has a hole in it, which means that it will inevitably lead to calluses, blisters or other discomfort for my soft, pink foot-flesh should I make the mistake of wearing it under my boots.

And though there are valid reasons behind my hatred, the vehemence of my loathing imbues the stocking with a totemic aura. What was a minor irritation becomes elevated to personal white whale. Internet fatwas must be issued. Followers must be rallied to the banner. Evangelists must be inspired to carry the message of holy sock hatred to the virtual streets and marketplaces.

Should the substance of the message be lost amidst the parroted pedantic din of the delivery, should the converts to the cause indulge in knee jerk obnoxiousness, should there be a great sound and fury signifying nothing much at all, it matters not so long as the site's hitcount keeps growing and the Cafe Press mechandise continues selling at a brisk pace.

I suppose I could quit wearing the offending garment and adopt a new pair of knit white tube socks that better serve my needs, but that would be beside the ultimate point of my crusade...


The Aquanettas - That Ain't Right (from Love With the Proper Stranger, 1990) - Femvox power pop with 60's retro leanings and a band name inspired by both the ozone-killing, high-hair friendly shellac in a can and the Venezuelan b-movie legend.

Blancmange - Wasted (from Happy Families, 1982) - Have you ever listened to an early 1980's synthpop song and thought to yourself, "This would have so much better if there was whistling involved"? Well, here you go.