Halloween Countdown: October 28 – the litter of death

To honor the birthday of my wife, Maura, Queen of Animals, here's a heartwarming little tale from Unexpected #197 (April 1980). I'm positively certain she'd approve of its message.

Larry, a plucky orphan lad, has a job at the all-kill shelter run by the shify Mr. Griggs. (It's all part of the "This is how the world works; You better get used to it now, kid" vocational training/soulcrushing program enacted by the Bush Administration in 2002.)

Damn, and I borrowed against my cat-killing commission this week, too!
Larry hates the job, but apparently not enough to find work that doesn't involve the mass execution of felines. As his underdeveloped sense of morality wrestles with his need for pocket money, Larry has a fateful encounter with Miss Mildred, a somewhat sinister old woman who wants to repay Larry's previous kindnesses with a gift -- a pet cat.

Seeing as how you spend your day killing and cremating her feline kindred, I figured it would be just the thing to lift your spirits!
Because his orphanage has a strict "no pets" rule, Larry asks Mr. Grigg if he can keep the cat at the shelter. (Besides being morally confused, Larry is also a tad stupid.) Grigg agrees, but for his own sinister reasons...

This will bring me $1.25 closer to that new purple suit jacket I've had my eye on!
Gee, what a surprise. However, before Grigg can slip the poor kitty the needle...

Now, my children, now! Enact Attack Plan Felix! Meow!
And so, when Larry arrives at work the next day:

Wow, our feral cats usually just leave us dead moles as "presents." At least this crew left the head on their kill and didn't create Nasca-type patterns on the front step with Grigg's entrails.

My name is Midnight...and you'd better be nice to me.
Oh, and it turns out, by way of the the closing "host" segment of the story, that Miss Mildred was a witch, and the cat was a -- GASP -- witch's cat. That explains the accelerated maturation cycle of the kittens, although I think that the story becomes even better if one imagines Grigg being savaged to death by these kids. Milk teeth and undeveloped claws = a long, slow, horrific, yet highly entertaining and goofy death.

Cerrone - Supernature (from Cerrone III - Supernature, 1977) - I posted Erasure's cover of this Eurodisco classic as part of last year's Halloween Countdown, and now here's the original version of this danceable cautionary tale of the animal kingdom's vengeance. A musical and ideological favorite of Maura's, the track was co-written by Lene Lovich (who happens to be a musical and ideological favorite of my wife's, as well).

Happy Birthday, My Crazy Foo!