Today’s post is in honor of Chris Sims, the bear-punching mastermind behind the always entertaining Invincible Super-Blog, and it deals with something near and dear to his heart: pro wrasslin’.
Being an elitist Massachusetts liberal, I’ve never understood the appeal of that particular brand of sports entertainment; although my brother and I had some pretty fun times creating avatars of ourselves in the old PSX WWF Attitude game back in the late 90’s. There is something both wonderful and disturbing about seeing uncannily accurate likenesses of two skinny, pale comic book fans taking on Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Incredible Hulk in a steel cage royal rumble, and winning. In real life, I require my wife’s assistance in getting a 50 pound bag of cat litter out of the trunk of my car.
There have been numerous attempts to mix pop music and pro wrestling, the pinnacle achievement being Macho Man Randy Savage’s sublime rap album from a few years back. Rather than cover that well-trod ground again, I put together a more esoteric cluster of tracks for this post. Some approach the theme directly; others are more associative in nature.
Decadence – Slam (from This Is Boston, Not LA, 1982) – While it’s technically about the mosh pit, I think it also lends itself well enough to the wrestling ring.
The Turnbuckles – Super Destroyer Mark II (from a 1979 single) – A side effort by Minneapolis proto-punks Suicide Commandos, in honor of a local hero of the ring. Right after the single was released, Super Destroyer ditched his persona and shortly after resurfaced as the legendary Sgt. Slaughter, much to the chagrin of Cobra sympathizers everywhere.
J. Geils Band – Rage in the Cage (from Freeze Frame, 1981) – Don’t get any wrong ideas, I only picked this because of its title. I don’t think it’s possible to explain how huge (and hugely overplayed) this album was to someone too young to remember. I swear the Top 40 stations in the Boston area played “Centerfold” at least three times an hour during the first half of 1982.
The Foreign Objects – (Who Will Dispute the) Genius of Lou Albano (from The Squared Circle, 1985) – The title alone should be enough to sell this track by western Massachusetts’s answer to The Dictators.
bis – Dead Wrestlers (from the Music For a Stranger World EP, 2001) – I wear my love for bis on my sleeve, and this track is one of their finest moments.
Remember kids, Jumbo always win.
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4 comments:
Centerfold may have been way over rotated, but "rage in a cage" was worht the price of a 45 to a kid with a $1 allowance.
I think I spent the dollar I made from collecting cans (pre-deposit days, two cents a container) around that time on the "Stray Cat Strut" 45.
NRBQ had a song about Captain Lou (and made a record with him). And one of the pro wrestlers from my childhood, the Crusher, made a single (called "The Crusher"). Do the hammerlock! Do the eye gouge!
I will always remember Captain Lou for the time he was making the breakfast TV rounds to promote the Super Mario Brothers kids' show. When one of the hosts asked him about the nature of the character he was playing he responded:
"Mario don't drink. He don't smoke. He don't abuse women."
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