Friday Night Frights: Wrap it up!

The thrills and chills continue as Mary Marvel brings a dynastic level of pain down upon the dessicated kisser of THE MAD MUMMY...

(from Marvel Family #79; January 1953)
Why is he a "mad" mummy? Because he once engaged in break room pillow-talk about buying planned to buy his very own Valley of the Kings someday, and Obama's "socialist" tax plan will prevent him from doing so. He didn't have his brains picked out through his nostril with a length of wire just so some liberal elitist could ruin his magnificent dream, you know.

The fact that he doesn't hold a valid pharaoh's license, never completed his mummy guild apprenticeship, and owes fifteen hundred deben in back taxes from his work as a greeter at Spooky World is irrelevant. I hear he's booked to appear sometime next week on Fox & Friends.

(So it is written, so it shall be done.)

Halloween Countdown: October 21 – the long lost cousin to King Farouk

"Say, Mr. Mummy, you're looking a little down in the facial wrappings. How about you tell old Unca Cap what's bothering you. You'll feel a lot better, trust me. Why, just the other day I talked It! The Living Colossus down off a ledge."

"Well, if I had to hazard I guess, I'd attribute that to your poor anger management skills, not to mention your ghastly and hideous appearance. As I used to tell the Blazing Skull back in Dubya Dubya Two..."

"Uh, Mr. Mummy? Are you listening to me, son?"

"Look, the truth hurts, and the sooner you learn to accept it....Hey!"


The Verdicts - The Mummy's Ball (from These Ghoulish Things, 2005) - A lovely bit of vintage Brooklyn doo wop with spooktacular overtones.

Kwentin Quisp - The Way Out Mummy (from the Bent, Batty, & 'Bnoxious compilation, 1988) - Occupying a twisted patch of ground between "Monster Mash" and "King Tut" in the bizarre realm of novelty recordings.

(For the record, this is officially the stupidest post I've ever done for Armagideon Time.)