that rises above

Actor John Phillip Law passed away last Tuesday at the age of 70.

In honor of his memory, let us pay homage to his unparalleled cinematic legacy, specifically the trio of 1968 films that cemented his place of high esteem within my personal retrological pantheon...

Danger: Diabolik
Ennio Morricone - Deep Down (from the Danger: Diabolik OST, 1968)

Barbarella
Bob Crewe and Charles Fox - The Angel Is Love (from the Barbarella OST, 1968)

...and Skidoo.
Harry Nilsson - I Will Take You There (from the Skidoo OST, 1968)

Farewell, Mr. Law, and thank you. May a flight of blind space angels sing thee to thy rest.

"It's not unlike ancient dental equipment on Earth - not that you'd know anything about that!" - John Phillip Law (as Kalgan) in Space Mutiny, 1988

12 Days of Christmas - Day 7: a warm winter stoat

I can't begin to express my disappointment upon discovering (a couple of days ago) that "wassail" was not an archaic spelling of "weasel," and that the act of going "a-wassailing" did not involve sneaking into chicken coops to steal eggs and/or the occasional plump fowl while justifying the act with vague quantifiers. ("Many people agree that poultry theft is an acceptable means of spreading holiday cheer.")

It does explain why my family got such a cold shoulder from our neighbors when I was growing up, however. Some folks just don't appreciate the true meaning of the season...

Mike and The 'Bots - The Wassail Song (from MST3K Episode 908: The Touch of Satan, 1998) - While "The Wassail Song" has long been one of my favorite Christmas carols -- despite my discovery that it deals with warm, spiced punch and not mustelid-related hijinx -- my wife dislikes its demanding tone, which she says is "rude." I think she's just mad that she didn't pay attention to the fine print.

Philadelphia Brass Ensemble - The Wassail Song (from A Festival Of Carols In Brass, 1967) - I was surprised at first to see that Jeff from AM, Then FM had posted "The Twelve Days of Christmas" from this very same album yesterday. Then I realized that this album (and others in the same vein) has probably reached quintuple-platinum status due to decades of holiday season sell-through. I don't think I've ever come across a stack of used vinyl at a flea market or estate sale that didn't include a significant percentage of Christmas-themed material.

Halloween Countdown: October 26 – I once saw one drinking a Pina Colada

Because there's a Hunter's Moon tonight, I thought it would be wise if I posted an excerpt from The Talbot Field Guide of Lycanthrope Variants (Illustrated Edition):

The Oliver Reed-Wolf
First appearance: The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)
Origin: Born under a curse
Likes: Frilly shirts, cattle mutilation, alcohol
Weaknesses: Silver bullets, church bells, alcohol

Nazi Aquatic Werewolf (a.k.a. "Sea Wolf")
First Appearance: The Young All-Stars #1 (June 1987)
Origin: Born of the fevered imagination of Roy Thomas
Likes: Book burnings, bratwurst, swimming, finding ways to work the word "sea" in casual conversation
Weaknesses: Native American teenagers wearing fur cloaks and speedos, war crimes trials

Teenage Werewolf (1950's "Landon" Version)
First Appearance: I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)
Origin: Induced bestial regression through hypnosis
Likes: Pretty teenage gymnasts, rebelling against authority, mauling his classmates by the light of the full moon
Weaknesses: Lectures from Pa Cartwright, bedwetting


Teenage Werewolf (1980's "Fox" Version)
First Appearance: Teen Wolf (1985)
Origin: Hereditary curse
Likes: Playing basketball, partying, van-surfing
Weaknesses: Teen Wolf Too starring Jason Bateman


Yankee Tourist Werewolf
First Appearance: An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Origin: Failure to keep clear of the moors
Likes: Jenny Agutter, Dr. Pepper, rampaging through Piccadilly Circus
Weaknesses: small arms fire, the lingering stigma of Makin' It

Cap-Wolf
First Appearance: Captain America #405 (Late August 1992)
Origin: The fatigue that set in during the later half of Mark Gruenwald's run as writer on Captain America
Likes: Mom, baseball, apple pie, sniffing other lycanthropes' asses
Weaknesses: The indelible shame of it all

Vacation II: Day 4 – Bees on Pie

Since my quest for a clean-sounding mp3 of the Zit Remedy song ended up with my being in possession of an excellent freeware audio extraction program, I’ve been sifting through my video archives for any other unreleased or otherwise unavailable music worth ripping.

High up on the list was this song from the Pod People episode of MST3K…

Joel & The Bots – Idiot Control Now

…a send up of the vapid pop song and baffling recording studio sequence featured in the movie. The film is an incredibly weird and inept European attempt to cash in on both E.T. and Alien, featuring Trumpy, a lost space traveler who resembles the bastard child of Max Rebo and Alf, and who can do “magic things” through the power of stop-motion photography. The song wasn’t included on either of the MST3K music collections, presumably because of licensing issues. (The magnificent musical medley inspired by the Fugitive Alien films’ score was omitted for similar reasons, I suspect. Such a shame, too.)

You can watch the original version here (beginning at the 1:30 mark) and Joel and the ‘Bots superior rendition here. The full episode is also available as part of the second volume of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection box sets. Highly recommended.

I’ve previously mentioned the concept of mental mashups, how the brain takes it upon itself to blend two similarly-sounding songs into a single infuriating earworm. The examples I used before were The Cure’s “Close to Me”/George Michael’s “Faith” and The Avengers’ “We Are the One”/Heaven 17’s (We Don’t Need This) Fascist Groove Thang.” “Idiot Control Now” comprises one half of another mix and match do-si-do, with this obscure, interestingly-titled bit of power pop as its dancing partner:

The Automatics – When the Tanks Roll (over Poland Again) (from a 1978 single; collected on Shake Some Action, Vol. 5, 2003)

let's travel, just we two

MOON
ZERO

TWO!Ohh-oh, take me soon!
MOON ZERO TWO!

Don Ellis & Julie Driscoll - Moon Zero Two (from The Hammer Film Music Collection, Vol. 1, 2000) - Wow, just wow. Composer Ellis and singer Driscoll hit the listener with a full-on sonic body tackle, the effects of which will linger in one's sense memory long after the song's conclusion.

The movie is no great shakes, and I say that as someone who has an irrational fondness for Hammer Films' non-horror material. As the above poster blatantly states, the film tries to transplant the genre conventions of the western into the barren soil of the lunar surface, with rather soporific results. Even the MST3K crew were hard-pressed to push its reading on the entertainment value scale into the "mildly diverting" range.

I’m floating in a beam of light

I try to keep my life as uncomplicated as possible, but occasionally I find myself riding a gamma ray laser to the heart of a distant neutron star on a mission of inescapable importance, my head pounding as my relative mass brushes up against infinity. Even though I’m traveling at 99.9999999999% the speed of light, my target is so remote that my custom soundtrack mix CD will loop itself, twice.

Only for you, wife. Only for you.

Class Action – Blast Off (from Tribute to Flexipop, Vol. 7) – More excellent and rare 80’s synthpop culled from the wonderful Flexipop library of bootleg compilations.

Girlschool – C’mon Let’s Go (from Hit & Run, 1981) – My wife, a woman who (rightfully) responds to my residual affection for heavy metal with much eyerolling, is rather fond of Girlschool. I’m not sure if that’s due to a sense of gender solidarity, or because of the MST3K connection (this track was on the Zombie Nightmare soundtrack), or because the band largely avoids the ridiculous genre clichés of their all-male counterparts.

The Pillows – Ride on Shooting Star (from Fooly Cooly OST 1: Addict, 2004) – Has anyone else noticed how much Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. cribbed from FLCL? Consider it noted and remarked upon, then. The lack over overlap between anime/manga fans and superhero fandom works in some writers’ favor.

I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will

Pre-Christmas preparations have got me swamped, but that isn’t going to stop me from making a short post laden with holiday cheer and loads of ass kicking. I think Chris from the ISB has become a bad influence on me.

You’ll know I’ve gone past the point of no return when I do a theme week featuring songs about getting kicked in the face.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 – (Let’s Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas (from Clowns in the Sky, 1997)