Mr. Morris, the owner of radio station WHIZ, finds himself in dire financial straits:
"Well, you see, Billy, there's this place called the Emperor's Club, and..."
Shrugging off Billy Batson's optimistic bromides as the empty platitudes they really are, Morris decides to flee the country before the inevitable subpoenas start arriving. He decamps at a South Sea island refuge popular with other fugitives from life's petty hassles...
"The natives call the place Enewetak. Don't mind those warships moored offshore; the Navy boys are supposed to be doing some kind of 'test' or something."
...and Morris becomes quickly enthralled with his new low-stress lifestyle, which is refreshingly free of FCC hearings, incipent ulcers, and impossible-to-please sponsors.
Before Morris can get too comfy, however, Billy dispatches his superheroic alter ego, Captain
Marvel fails to convince Morris to quit his hedonistic idyll, and even begins to succumb to the island's seductive allure himself...
...though he is fortuitously saved by the giant stick wedged up his ass. Unwilling to give up his missionary work on behalf of stifling conformity, Marvel again approaches Morris about his un-American behavior. This time, however, the Big Red Cheese makes use of visual aids to prove his case, confronting Morris with his eventual fate should he decide to remain on the island...
"DEAR LORD, NOOOOOOOO!"
....devolution into a smelly hippie. A fate worse than death, indeed. The shocking revelation convinces Morris to violently repudiate his slacker ways and return to whatever fate awaits him back in the civilized world:
As it turns out, the music Morris must face is the "Crony Capitalism Rag," a perrenial plutocratic standard composed by the Old Boy Network. I haven't been personally privileged enough to hear the piece performed live, but I believe the first two lines are "If you're rich and white/it will turn out all right":
(From "Man's Worst Enemy" from Captain Marvel Adventures #91, December 1948; by Otto Binder & C.C. Beck)
Deadbeats - Kill the Hippies (from a 1978 single) - A fine piece of early L.A. punk that pits the hollowness of trangressive nihilism against the self-righteousness of narcissistic "enlightenment."
The Specials - Rat Race (from More Specials, 1980) - "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." - Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything


4 comments:
Man, you've been on a Captain Marvel tear! I gotta say that even as a kid I was immune to the charm of the Big Red Cheese. Though I love the covers on the Fawcett titles, especially the Swayze ones.
I think my problem is that I was a big Marvel kid and was attached to their version of the character, which had that hippie cosmic vibe. Kind of approrpriate considering your musical selection.
"...so I know this place called the Emperer's Club..."
Am I a bad person for laughing hysterically?
God that story line is sick. Man gets fed up of running the Corporate Rat Race, finds an alternative along with some other like-minded souls, Captain Capitalist comes along and points out how he is going to end up looking (after all - image is everything) and takes him back to unlimited debt - jeez, thanks. Still when you have a nation to indoctrinate for the perfect 50's ahead then I suppose you have to start 'em young - it also fits in nicely to the post-WW2 anti-Red sentiment. Good post bitterandrew.
sallyp: No, you are not.
Christopher & Highlander: I've been hitting the Captain Marvel stuff heavily because I'm in the process of indexing the issues and flagging items of interest. The run of the Captain Marvel Adventures series between 1945 and 1953 contains some really remarkable (and really goofy) material -- high concept absurdity and dodgy morality tales, seen through the filter of post-WW2 and pre-Red Scare Cold War liberalism.
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