because I hate focus groups

It’s been a while since I engaged some memery, so here’s one copped from Kevin. Set your playlist to shuffle and fill in the categories.

Opening Credits:
“Hebrides Overture” by Felix Mendelssohn. Classy, sweeping, and stark. Not bad.

Waking Up:
“Fireworks” by Siouxsie & the Banshees. Wow, this is shaping up to be a gloomy film. At least I’ll have the moody student demographic sown up.

First Day at School:
“Too Much, Too Young” by Dave Smalley. Filling the “quirky indie pop cover of a new wave classic” quota.

Falling in Love:
“The Man With the Dogs” by The Dead Kennedys. Maybe. I can see the protagonist fleeing from his enemies and dodging environmental obstacles on a suburban sidewalk. He makes it to the corner, where he makes eye contact with the new girl in the neighborhood, an introspective barette-wearing beauty. He is so overcome with yearning that he forgets what he’s doing and trips over a fire hydrant.

Fight Song:
“He Was a Friend of Mine” by The Byrds. Now we must battle, for the whole world is at stake!

Breaking Up:
“The First Noel” by The Moog Machine. Seasonal holiday depression is the best kind of depression.

Prom:
“String Bean Jean” by Belle and Sebastian. Appropriately soft and intimate, but not slow dance material. I like it.

Life:
“The Night” by Lene Lovich. So I guess the film is kind of a hipster reiteration of Mahogany….

Mental Breakdown:
“Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Otis Redding. Perfect.

Driving:
“Mary’s Room” by The Vyllies. The bleak minimalist synth and haunting female vocals would work for a gloomy midnight ride, but it lacks the classic rock je ne se quois needed for a proper driving song.

Flashback:
“Diamond and Loving Arms” by Boytronic. Perfectly fine, if the film in question was shot in 1985.

Getting Back Together:
“Antmusic” by Adam and The Ants. Celebrating a new romantic era, perhaps?

Wedding:
“Missing Missiles” by Slow Children. Oddball new wave as wedding music? Hey, it worked for my wife and me.

Birth of a Child:
“Never Stop” by Echo and The Bunnymen. Not what I would have picked, though the more I think about it, the better I like the idea.

Final Battle:
“Rush” by Big Audio Dynamite. High stakes yet whimsical. Have to be careful not to overdo the CGI goofiness, though.

Death Scene:
“That Neutron Taste” by The Bleach Boys. Claustrophobic, apocalyptic garage punk/punkabilly with lyrics that beg for radioactive annihilation. Way to exit in style!

Funeral Song:
“Thru the Flowers (New Version)” by The Primitives. A little too upbeat for my tastes, but it does fit the theme well enough.

End Credits:
“Outrage” by Booker T and the MG’s. Ah, yes. A playful organ-driven R&B instrumental track to close things out on the right note of absurdity.