Who is side are you on?

Have no fear, your humble narrator has not succumbed to the clutches of latent dysphasia. Today’s post title is in reference to this example of how a little thing like effective proofreading can fall through the cracks amidst a massively marketed and promoted major comics crossover event.

I figured that since I’ve already unfurled my geek flag with yesterday’s post (and destroyed any last vestiges of punk rock credibility I might have possessed in your eyes), that I’d take a few moments and reflect on Marvel’s “must have” event book of the moment, Civil War. It may seem late in the game for me to be throwing my two cents in, but given the numerous delays (and accompanying excuses) which have plagued the core miniseries, it seems rather fitting.

There is a sense among the more shrill elements of the fan community that the comics blogosphere has a strong anti-Marvel/pro-DC bias. These folks have attempted to prove this theory by pointing out the discrepancy between the bloggers’ generally negative reviews of Civil War with the title’s strong sales figures. There are a few things off about that argument, though.

One, as Dorian has repeatedly tried to pound home, popularity is not an indicator of quality. If that were true, then the "Death of Superman", the early Image titles, and other record-selling flotsam of the 90’s comics boom would represent the pinnacle of the medium’s artistic achievement. Or, to put it another way, Beverly Hills Ninja was the number one movie in America on its opening weekend. Junk food, and its various analogues, always sells well to the masses, but few who consume it have any illusions about its overall quality. It’s convenient, disposable, and can provide a gratifying quick fix without requiring an intense investment of time or effort. This may sound elitist of me, but confusing junk food with a decent meal says more about the partaker’s limited palate than it does about the merits of the foodstuffs in question.

Two, the argument also ignores the fact that many of the supposed Marvel-haters were pretty generous in their assessments of Civil War…up until Cyber-Clone Thor ("Clor?") reveal pulled back the curtain and verified that what was happening was less a story about established characters, than Mark Millar using a high-pressure hose to blast a shitstream of half-baked “clever” or “edgy” ideas against the wall in hopes of something sticking. Instead of poor or paradoxical characterizations being interdicted by Marvel editorial, the decision was made to retroactively justify them with nonsensical retcons.

Early PR materials suggested that the political issues underpinning Civil War would be portrayed in an even-handed light, with the virtues and flaws of both warring factions given equal time. The reality turned out to be a race to the bottom level of assholedom, a contest to determine who could alienate readers’ sympathies the most, Captain America or Iron Man. (The latter being the odds-on favorite to win, barring some last minute plot-hammered miracle.)

Three, not enjoying Civil War is not the same as despising Marvel and its entire output. While Nextwave runs a little glib for my tastes on occasion, for the most part it has been an enjoyable romp through the back alleys of the Marvel Universe. Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane and Ed Brubaker’s run on Captain America also get plenty of love from the comics blogosphere. It seems to me that affection for Marvel’s stable of characters runs pretty high among that crowd, but there’s not much fondness in how the characters are currently being used. A corollary to this is that while DC is not immune to the slings and arrows of the bloggers, the diversity of the company’s output generally means that it’s possible to find something that tickles one’s fancy.

Ok, onto the music. This is an mp3 blog after all, despite my friend’s flattering statement that “it’s much more than that.”

On one hand we have Captain America, representing the fanatical, libertarian vigilante camp:

The Kinks – Catch Me Now I’m Falling (from Low Budget, 1979) – This is best track in my collection of songs that reference the Living Legend. (What, you don’t have a similar folder on your computer? Jeez.) It’s not like the competition was fierce; compared to the whiny stoner rock of moe’s “Captain America” or the intolerable Parrothead nonsense of Jimmy Buffet’s song of the same name, the late 70’s Kinks’ slightly paunchy, borderline corporate rock will win hands down every time.

Theme to the 1966 Captain America cartoon – “Cartoon” might be too strong a word. “Still drawings lifted from the comics accompanied by shouting and explosions” better conveys the idea. The faux Mitch Miller sound fits extremely well with my concept of Cap.

On the other hand, here’s Iron Man, representing the jackbooted, crypto-fascist ideology of the surveillance state:

Red Alert – The Iron Man (from Still Out of Order: Oi! Singles Collection, 2000) – A touch of “The Wanderer,” a touch of “Real Wild Child,” -- This has to be the cover of some old, presumably British, rock and roll song, but damned if I can coax any additional info out of Google.

(“Wait, Andrew,” I hear you saying, “how could you not post Black Sabbath’s ‘Iron Man’? It’s a classic.” Fine, but be careful what you wish for, my friends. Here’s a cover version by DYS, a Boston hardcore band from the early 80’s. It’s from Wolfpack, an 1990 expanded reissue of their Brotherhood 12”, and serves as a perfect rebuttal to those folks who over-romanticize Boston’s old hardcore punk scene.)

Theme to the 1966 Iron Man cartoon – Whereas Cap’s theme was strictly squaresville, daddy-o, everyone’s favorite armor-plated alcoholic got something a bit more “with it” for his theme. Falsifying defense contract cost overruns by day, using his repulsor rays to blast the bejeezus out of Commie agents by night – who wouldn’t want to be Tony Stark?

“Who’s” side am I on? Right now I’m firmly in Mille the Model’s camp, although I’m considering a strong counter-offer from Donovan’s people. After all, Superman or Green Lantern have got nothing on his powerful brand of mellow folk rock…

Donovan – Sunshine Superman (Unedited Version) (from The Essential Donovan, 2004)

(Thanks to Dave Lartigue for providing the wonderful “I’m with Millie” banner.)