See that man in the picture on the right? That’s George Taylor (aka “Bright Eyes”), a representative of the human military-industrial-aerospace complex, and the embodiment of everything a decent simianocentric sentient abhors. Like a human serpent in ape Eden, Taylor’s arrival on the Planet of the Apes marked the end of its inhabitants’ previously carefree lifestyle…and of the planet itself.
Like many of his kind, Taylor could not accept that the world had changed, and the position of privilege he was used to holding was his no more. His response was to initiate a campaign of anti-ape aggression with horrible repercussions. Even the kind but misguided chimp couple who sought to help Taylor acclimate to life among the apes was not spared from the blowback caused by his actions, which allowed the less savory elements of monkey society to seize power under the pretext of “fighting humanist terrorism.”
Reports that Taylor’s anti-ape prejudices had begun to mellow (symbolized by a poignant interspecies kiss between Taylor and chimp scientist Zira) appear to have been premature. Taylor was last seen triggering a planet-wrecking doomsday device, a final act of spite all too typical of his brutish species.
UNKLE – Ape Shall Never Kill Ape (Original Mix) (from a 1998 single) – It’s open season on lemurs and Aye-ayes, though, the sneaky little bastards.
Adam and The Ants – Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simios (from Prince Charming, 1981) – Yes, that translates to “Picasso Visits the Planet of the Apes.” This wouldn’t be Adam’s only foray into simian-themed pop. A few years back he got it in his head to rework “Stand and Deliver” into the conservation benefit track “Save the Gorillas.”
I wish I was making that up. Here’s the video, for those brave (or crazy) enough to watch it:
Why, Adam, why?
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
The G.R.O.D.D. Initiative: Day 3 – but you’re so damned ugly
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3 comments:
Why you do this, Otto? (said in the voice of Father Karras' mother)
I care for Adam, I really do (more that Adam cares for himself, apparently), but it's ape week here, and I had to mention it.
It's not like I said he s--ks c--ks in hell, although having watched that video again, that might have been kinder of me.
LOL-Yes, I know.....just that I had to torture myself by watching it . Surprisingly, he still sounds pretty good, and he was doing it for a worthy cause....I just can't look at poor sad Adam that way. Let him always remain the Dandy Highwayman in my memory....
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