Bog bless us every chelloveck

'Twas the nochy ‘fore Kringleraz, when all thru the domy
not a creature was skriking, not even a kot.
The toofles were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that Ded Kringle soon would be there.

The malchicks were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of sakar plums plesked in their heads.
And Em in her tashtook, and I in my shlapa,
had just settled our mozgs for a long winter's zaznoot.

When out on the roof arose a zammechat clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the okno I flew like a flash,
razrezed the shutter, and threw up the sash.

The luna on the groody of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of midday to veshches below,
when, what to my wondering glazzies should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a malenky ded driver, so lively and skorry,
I knew in a moment it must be Lord Kring.
More rapid than eagles, his gruppa they came,
and he carked and creeched and called them by eemya:

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the shest!
Now ookadeet! Ookadeet!
Ookadeet all!"

We best leave it there, my droogies, before the ultraviolence begins. Kringle’s brooko may shake like a bowl full of jammiwam, but he’s still a master at delivering a noga to the yarbles.

(When I was in college, a friend made me a copy of his VHS tape of A Clockwork Orange, originally taped off HBO sometime in the early 80’s. He included the lead-in bumper, which featured a Muzak rendition of “Jingle Bells” and Malcolm McDowell’s face superimposed over a Christmas tree while the announcer delivered – with no trace of irony – “Stay tuned for our special holiday presentation, Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange.”)

From The Moog Machine - Christmas Becomes Electric (1969):

Carol of the Bells
O Come All Ye Faithful
We Three Kings

If you kopat what you sloosh here, itty by Ernie (Not Bert) and sobriat the full album.