it was very enthralling, primordial and haunting

I’m going to take a break from leftist polemics and wrestling with my personal demons, and dedicate a post to a weird and wonderful creature – that marvel of cryptozoology, the coelacanth.

Why? Because it’s my blog, and I effing feel like it.

Besides, what’s not to love about our lobed-finned friends? According to the fossil record, they’ve been around for over 400 million years, the last 65 million of them spent hiding from other animals. I don’t blame them. There’s nothing more irritating than getting a drunken call from a giant ground sloth at three in the morning asking if he can borrow the keys to your Chevy Nova. Shit, by the time he finishes his first sentence, it’s already four in the afternoon. And don’t get me started on brontotheriums, buster.

Another fun fact about coelacanths is that their scales and bodies generate oily mucus that possesses laxative properties. I wish I could do that, although I have been told by certain ex-girlfriends my entire being can act as a powerful ipecac.

You & The Atom Bomb - Behold, Coelacanth (from Shake, Shake Hello, 2006) - Wistful, yet sweet indie pop. It goes a good ways toward restoring my faith in the genre after it had been shaken by hearing too many lousy, over-hyped “next big things.” The link will take you to their label’s download page, where the track is available at no cost.

The Polysics - Ceolakanth Is Android (from Now Is the Time! 2005) - It’s like being run over by a tractor trailer full of old arcade machines. For best results, listen to the track while playing G-Darius on MAME.

Shriekback - Coelocanth (from Oil and Gold, 1985) - An instrumental track that lacks the driving immediacy of “Nemesis” but makes up for it in atmospheric spookiness.

Mr. Children - Coelacanth (from Shinkai, 1996) - It’s uninspired, bland J-Rock, but it fit the theme. Give it a shot, maybe it’s just me.