a fool might start a fight

My choice of footwear during my junior high school days:

Oh, how I loved my camouflage Chuck Taylors, Reagan Era militarism made manifest as funky footwear. I owned two pairs, both of which I wore until the canvas uppers rotted and came away from the rubber soles.

Though Chuck Taylors have since become a iconic fashion accessory for the hipster set, back in the mid-1980's they were simply another excuse for social ostracism for the lads and lasses attending the Kennedy Jr. High School. The sneaker wars were just beginning to heat up in those days, and the ever-changing hierarchy of brands acted as a quick-and-easy shorthand by which to separate the elect from the damned...and there was no quicker road to the Abyss than being caught wearing a pair camo high-tops.

Plus they had rubber toes, and rubber toes are for "fags" dont'cha know?

On the apex of the social pyramid, "My Adidas" ruled in the study hall as is in Heaven. I freely confess my lack of enthusiasm for rap and hip hop is rooted in class and race issues. I despised the rich white motherfuckers who were the biggest fans of those genres in my middle school days. It's hard to develop an appreciation for the "sounds of the street" when the son of the bank manager (sporting a designer tracksuit and gold chains) is the genre's resident musical ambassador.

Looking back, my decision to wear, and more importantly stick with, my woodland camo Chucks despite the taunts was an early step on my path to punk rock, in the sense that I started to grasp the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" rules of the game and simply walked away from the table. It's better to be an honest goat than a Sisyphean wannabe sheep.

Converse discontinued making the camouflage version of the shoe by the time my second pair finally gave up the ghost, and I had to settle for the basic black model until my freshman year, when I was given my first pair of combat boots by my father, and I haven't looked back since.

I don't regret the decision, though it did mean missing out on these stylin' fad-licensed kicks...

...ideal for Bat-dancing the night away (though they lack the proper arch support necessary for doing the Batusi without severe risk of injury).

Teen Idles - Sneakers (from the Minor Disturbance EP, 1980) - Not to be confused with the Idle Race, though I occasionally fantasize about Jeff Lynne and Ian MacKaye collaborating on a emo hardcore/symphonic prog concept album. Then I remember this and the resulting screams of terror can be heard as far away as the Pioneer Valley.

Yellow Magic Orchestra - Camouflage (from BGM, 1981) - Oddball synth is the new KBD punk.

The Marks - High Heel Sneakers (from a 1966 single; collected on Rare & Raw Beat from the Sixties, Vol. 1, 1996) - Sure, this R&B standard has been covered by everyone and their collective grandmother, but you haven't lived until you've heard it translated into Dutch freakbeat.