Thursday, September 25, 2008

three hundred more years

From the pages of Mystery in Space #5 (December 1951-January 1952) comes this prescient glimpse into mankind's glorious future...as made possible by the unmatched killing power of the S-64 Disintegrator Gun:

...and by "Earth," we mean "America."

Thus S'less'thar, revered shaman and a cephalapod of peace, passed from this world. The rest of the I'lloni tribe had little time to mourn his passing, as they sooned joined him in radioactive oblivion. A Space Wal-Mart now marks the place where they died.

"So, any of you ugly motherfuckers know if there's oil around these parts? You've got fifteen seconds to answer."

"...and God help anyone stupid enough to challenge our Divine mandate to rule."

Hey, you can't argue with "Spaceman-ifest Destiny." (Not if you like being non-disintegrated, that is.)

Depeche Mode - Barrel of a Gun (from Ultra, 1997) - Catching up with the Industrial Dance Pop Scene? Or perhaps Music for the Goth Club Masses?

The Flesh Eaters - Disintegration Nation (from a 1978 single; collected on No Questions Asked, 2004) - The Flesh Eaters tend to get lumped in with the L.A. deathrock crowd, but aside from a slight arty inclinations and occasionally macabre subject matter, I don't really hear the connection...just some straight up, rough-edged punk rawk.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey hey hey! Those Plutonians were very clearly smuggling plutonium to Neptune in preparation for a terrorist attack on our awesome, god-fearing planet, and we know that they have weapons of mass destruction just like ours and would use it to destroy us just like we're using it to destroy them. We have to invade Pluto before Pluto invades America! You sympathize with the godless aliens and want America to fall by their ray guns! To the gulag on Triton with you, filthy liberal!

-Every single right-wing blog of the 23rd century.

SallyP said...

Ahhh...hilarious and depressing all at the same time.

Anonymous said...

So did this stor have a point or what it just S-67=teh aW3some!

Anonymous said...

I can only assume that there was a toy S-64 disintegrator on the drawing board somewhere and this was a ham-handed attempt to drive demand.