visual synergy: for the benefit of mister ego

Is "doing stuff for Africa" still the celebrity cause du jour? I ask because I had to close my eyes for a second, and in that space of time the beautiful people might have moved on to another subject of fashionable activism...like stopping cat juggling. Speaking out about starving kids, ethnic strife, and the other trappings of colonialism's putrid legacy is fine and all, but it's important to stay current in one's shallow efforts at advocacy. Darfur may be the new Tibet, but when even lampreys on the underbelly of celebrity culture like K-Fed mention an interest in the cause, it's time to seeks something a little more now. The slum clearances in Mumbai look rather promising in this regard, I'm told.

It makes me long for a simpler time of superficial dabbling in fashionable causes, when all it took to stroke one's ego save the world was a really shitty pop song and spot-the-famous-person music video. The Brits kicked off the trend with the not-terrible Band Aid track "Do They Know It's Christmas?" in 1984, the brainchild of Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, produced by the then-ubiquitous Trevor Horn:



Not to be done by their cousins across the pond, a veritable pantheon of American rock and pop stars came together in 1985 to do it right, and by "right" I mean excruciatingly self-indulgent and unbearably cheesy. As Greil Marcus pointed out, it's rather...odd...how the line "It's a choice we're making" in USA For Africa's "We Are the World" echoes Pepsi's "Choice of a New Generation" ad slogan, considering the song's composers, Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson, just happened to be pitchmen for the beverage at the time. "We're saving our own lives" has to set a record for obliviously narcissistic toxicity levels in a pop song.



Canada then responded with its own homegrown effort, which to this day I'm still half convinced is really a hoax perpetrated by the SCTV crowd. (Martin Short as Mike Reno, John Candy as Randy Bachman, Eugene Levy as Joni Mitchell...) When the reality is Northern Lights' "Tears Are Not Enough," satire becomes redundant:



That's all well and good, but where is the type of music that would speak to Andrew circa 1985? Where is the call to compassionate action targeted towards "the kidz." specifically the ones rocking their air guitars to Out of the Cellar and making laminated pentagrams in shop class? Have no fear, Hear n' Aid has got you covered with "We're Stars." (Hey! Who invited that dude from Journey?):



Every good popcult trend needs a corresponding parody, and The Ramones ably stepped up to the plate with the video for "Something to Believe In" (Maura's favorite Ramones track), featuring a quite awesome list of "celebrity" guest appearances:



The high point of this popcult ripple? Hands down, I'd say that honor goes to Artists United Against Apartheid's "Sun City," which featured a diverse roster of musicians (including Joey Ramone and a slew of old school rappers) and senses of conviction and geopolitical awareness sorely lacking in the other efforts. Keep an eye out for "possessed by the Devil" Bono (Maura's description, not mine):



Artists United Against Apartheid - Sun City (from Sun City, 1985) - How times have changed since then. Nelson Mandela has been freed, apartheid is no more, and a stay at the Sun City resort was the grand prize on the last season of Celebrity Fit Club.