I'll have one of those

I recently picked up the G.I. Joe 25th Anniversary two-pack featuring Tomax and Xamot, Cobra's resident Corsican twins and leaders of the elite Crimson Guard. Though my days of nerdy impulse purchases are largely behind me, I splurged on this particular pair of action figures in the spirit of brotherly bonding. My brother will get the Tomax figure and I'll hold on to the Xamot one (as we share the distinction of being the sibling with the facial scars).

Hey, it's cheaper and more sanitary than getting matching tattoos, all right?

While I was struggling to free the toys from their hermetically-sealed plastic sarcophagus, something on the back of the package caught me eye. It was an advertisement for a mail-in offer. The offer in itself wasn't remarkable, but rather its interestingly phrased title...

Unfortunate? Yes, but almost certainly unintentional, even given the country's ongoing slide into the reactionary grip of rampant militarism and social conservatism.

It got me to thinking, however, what role an "Operation: Rescue Doc" would play on the modern battlefield. Probably something similar to this...

(Your are free to choose whether to click or not.)
Were you aware that Snake Eyes was a dues-paying member of NARAL? Well, now you know, and as they say, knowing is half the battle.

Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon - Will the Fetus Be Aborted? (from Prairie Home Invasion, 1994) - YEE-EFFING-HAH!

The Mekons - Born to Choose (from Born to Choose, 1993) - "Protect the unborn, beat on a whore" -- a succinct and accurate summation of the inherent paradox that underlies anti-choice ideology. A bit on the reductive side, you say? Probably, but guess what? I don't give a flying fuck when it comes to those bigoted, hypocritical zealots. They can wallow in the stink of their own twisted dogma till even the flies drop dead from disgust, but they have no business dictating matters of public health or making individual personal decisions for the rest of us.