Friday Night Fights: Eye Against I

This is the final round of Friday Night Fights before the Ringmaster Cosmic takes a short hiatus in order to clean the bloodstains from the canvas. I've pulled out all the stops and dug out my copies of Legion of Super-Heroes #57-58 (February & March 1989; by Levitz, Giffen, and Gordon) in order to bring you a veritable battle royale of Legionnaires going mano-a-cornea against the Emerald Eye of Ekron, the ocular artifact of viridian villany wielded by the Emerald Empress. (As is customary with Evil Totems of Arcane Power, who is the master and who is the servant in the Empress-Eye relationship is open to question.)

First up: Timber Wolf, sporting his late 80's fighting togs, an ensemble comprised of equal parts cyberpunk, mountain man, and Eddie Munster motifs. What he lacks in smarts (and fashion sense), he makes up for in natural scrappiness -- Is it enough to face down the Emerald Eye?

The answer is apparently "no."

Duran Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf (from Rio, 1982) - Le Bon and Company's finest moment, a song that manages to perfectly encapsulate an bygone era, despite possessing some of the most incomprehensibly banal lyrics ever set to music.

Our next challenger is Ultra Boy, who possesses a set of powers mirroring Superman's, but with the limitation that he can only utilize one power at a given time. Even so, he's one of the Legion's heavy hitters. Putting the hurt on a giant eyeball should be child's play for him...

...or not.

Bauhaus - Kick in the Eye (from a 1982 EP; collected on Singles: 1979-1983, Vol. 2, 1986) - For those times when the black lace and hairspray set feel the urge to get funky.

Anyone else up to the challenge? Anyone? Anyone? I guess that just leaves Quislet, an extradimensional car (mini-spaceship) thief with the ability to possess and control inanimate objects. Best of luck, little guy!

He did it! He actually did it! I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Quislet-buddy!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why? Why? Why? Oh, Quislet....sob....

The Dave Clark Five - Bits and Pieces (from The History of The Dave Clark Five, 1993) - A lot of rare blooms managed to briefly flourish in the shadow of The Fab Four, yet as lovely as some of them my have been, none possessed that certain something that set John, Paul, George, and Ringo head and shoulders above the rest.

In the end it was Sensor Girl (a.k.a. Princess Projectra) who defeated the Eye (and, by extension, the Empress) by using her powers to give it a bad case of mystical glaucoma. I kid you not...

(DRAMATIZATION OF ACTUAL FAKE EVENTS)